I went into a briefing just now. It was about leasing program for system technology and its processes and procedures. Since I was invited, I went in thought I can get an inside of what this whole leasing program is all about. I have dealt with leasing orders before. I somehow know what the processes are and what the requirements are.
But just now, after seeing all the other people in the briefing interacting with the speaker and asking him questions about the leasing. Suddenly I felt so stupid sitting there feeling clueless and totally unaware what the heck that fella was talking about. Yeah... it was about something I use to deal with, but it all seems so new and there were a lot of processes and procedures he was talking about. Sigh! I need to beef up my knowledge in the IT industry even more I guess. Working in the IT environment world and feeling clueless about it is not something good.
Rasa macam bodoh jer tadi. Semua pandai jer bertanya soalan… aku duduk situ totally blur. They were talking about global market values, trade financing, working capital… bla bla bla bla… This SUCKS!
How am I supposed to interact with the outside world if I have no idea what the world is moving into?
I really need to start moving forward cos honestly.. I am kinda feeling like i'm left behind here :(
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Journey Through 2010
Right.. I don’t have any particular reason for my absence here.. same ole same ole.
Probably I was waiting for some inspiration to come along and motivate me to jot down my chronicles. Here I am, while listening to some soothing jazz music, I hope it'll inspire me to start fresh.
So, since I promised myself I will list down those interesting things I did in 2010… before I turn (ehem)..
Well, I had my fair share of memories from 2010. It's still not too late to relate it here cos hey! This is still the month of January 2011 right? New Year seems to pass so fast with so many things around to be worried about. What I can tell you is that a lot of things happened to me in 2010 and the most significant win of all (Drum roll…) is the changes I brought down on… me.
Yes! I took the extra mile and managed to win myself over. I got myself up from the nightmare and work myself for a better, happier, healthier and a wonderful life. Getting myself use to “Living my life the healthier way”. It all started early April when I finally realize, I need to do something about myself. I asked myself "How long do I have to suffer being F.A.T.?" (Gulp!) It was a bit scary when I imagine how my life's gonna turn out to be when I get old. SO IT SHOULD START NOW... and I’m glad I woke up. Now, I'm proud to say I'm a “Prior Fat Girl” and I’m happy to report I've lost weight almost 18kg. I'm still on the chubby side though cos there's still a long way to go. But I'm not going to stop here. I am going to continue fighting and live my life up to the standards. But I'm happy with the result that I've obtained so far. Gosh! I must admit, it wasn't something easy to follow. You've gotta be strict, you must be firm and most importantly… you must have self-discipline. It's tough with all the temptation, the starvation and agony. You had to start by eating right, regular exercise, and you need to tell yourself when to stop eating. But it all seems so tough at the beginning, but now I'm getting a hang of it.
I asked myself last year “What else can you do before you turn into a new decade? Stepping into the powerful 3rd Series Club” hehehe… So the most memorable thing I did was a gift to me. I lost weight and I am darn proud of it.
Hey! did I mention I got my nose pierced? Hehehehe.. Yup! I got myself a nose stud now. It's one of those wild things I got crazy for and just did it when I saw my sister pierced her nose so what the heck, I did it too. I like it though. Every time I look into the mirror, I see this tiny diamond stud on top of my nose all shiny and sparkling. Sorta like tell me that I am as shiny and sparkling too :) Gosh! Fazi you're gorgeous. hehe ^_^'
Ouh! I've finally changed my Nokia N73. I had that babe for 3 faithful years but sadly it was time to say goodbye cos the battery keeps dying on me. So I got myself a new toy to play with abd bought a new Sony Ericsson Aino. This babe is so cool with alot of cool features too. Now, I am not really a fan of gadgets and gizmos and I’m not so into latest tech stuff. A mobile phone for me is more like… like… eerr.. well… like.. a.. (Duh)… a mobile phone. So what the heck you use a phone for? Mainly to communicate with people from distance and with some extra bonus features you can send messages and stuffs. Latest phone these days allows you to take photos too and my phone has a 8.1 megapixal camera. Cooooolll... Now, I’m always a fan of beautiful pictures. It fascinates me when I see a nice shot. Those time and moment freeze in picture is simply amazing. And, I like taking loads of photos. Pictures to me are a memory as I am quite forgetful and taking pictures gives me a pleasure… a satisfaction. I can’t afford those fancy huge cameras. For me, my Sony Aino gives me the equal pleasure as well cos it allows me to capture these amazing images anytime anywhere and best of all.. I can also share it instantly in Facebook. Best kan? It also has a built in wifi allowing me to log into web, anywhere and anytime. There's also the built in GPS, MP3 player.. 8GB memory.. Phew! Here I go bragging about my phone. hehe.. Starbucks is usually my hotspot. It’s my place to hang out nowadays for a good cup of Caramel Macchiato and just chillex while browsing the net. Huh! Cool kan? :D
What else? Well… let’s talk about HIKING? Now, hiking has never been an interest to me. The sweat, the heat, the walk, the climb, the aching back & feet and muscle cramps…. never really a good friend my mine. But still, I put all those behind, endured the pain… and managed to conquer Pantai Kerachut hike. Sounded more like I hike up mount Kinabalu… but no.. it was just here in Penang. But it was worth it. Thanks to my buddies too. They really motivated me to not chicken out half way and talked me into finishing it. It was all good and I had a great time.
Arrghh.. There are so many things to write here. All those things I did.
Things are finally turning brighter for me after so long. I am enjoying myself every bit of it. May Allah SWT bless me all the way.
Will keep my post here active.. InsyaAllah.
Probably I was waiting for some inspiration to come along and motivate me to jot down my chronicles. Here I am, while listening to some soothing jazz music, I hope it'll inspire me to start fresh.
So, since I promised myself I will list down those interesting things I did in 2010… before I turn (ehem)..
Well, I had my fair share of memories from 2010. It's still not too late to relate it here cos hey! This is still the month of January 2011 right? New Year seems to pass so fast with so many things around to be worried about. What I can tell you is that a lot of things happened to me in 2010 and the most significant win of all (Drum roll…) is the changes I brought down on… me.
Yes! I took the extra mile and managed to win myself over. I got myself up from the nightmare and work myself for a better, happier, healthier and a wonderful life. Getting myself use to “Living my life the healthier way”. It all started early April when I finally realize, I need to do something about myself. I asked myself "How long do I have to suffer being F.A.T.?" (Gulp!) It was a bit scary when I imagine how my life's gonna turn out to be when I get old. SO IT SHOULD START NOW... and I’m glad I woke up. Now, I'm proud to say I'm a “Prior Fat Girl” and I’m happy to report I've lost weight almost 18kg. I'm still on the chubby side though cos there's still a long way to go. But I'm not going to stop here. I am going to continue fighting and live my life up to the standards. But I'm happy with the result that I've obtained so far. Gosh! I must admit, it wasn't something easy to follow. You've gotta be strict, you must be firm and most importantly… you must have self-discipline. It's tough with all the temptation, the starvation and agony. You had to start by eating right, regular exercise, and you need to tell yourself when to stop eating. But it all seems so tough at the beginning, but now I'm getting a hang of it.
I asked myself last year “What else can you do before you turn into a new decade? Stepping into the powerful 3rd Series Club” hehehe… So the most memorable thing I did was a gift to me. I lost weight and I am darn proud of it.
Hey! did I mention I got my nose pierced? Hehehehe.. Yup! I got myself a nose stud now. It's one of those wild things I got crazy for and just did it when I saw my sister pierced her nose so what the heck, I did it too. I like it though. Every time I look into the mirror, I see this tiny diamond stud on top of my nose all shiny and sparkling. Sorta like tell me that I am as shiny and sparkling too :) Gosh! Fazi you're gorgeous. hehe ^_^'
Ouh! I've finally changed my Nokia N73. I had that babe for 3 faithful years but sadly it was time to say goodbye cos the battery keeps dying on me. So I got myself a new toy to play with abd bought a new Sony Ericsson Aino. This babe is so cool with alot of cool features too. Now, I am not really a fan of gadgets and gizmos and I’m not so into latest tech stuff. A mobile phone for me is more like… like… eerr.. well… like.. a.. (Duh)… a mobile phone. So what the heck you use a phone for? Mainly to communicate with people from distance and with some extra bonus features you can send messages and stuffs. Latest phone these days allows you to take photos too and my phone has a 8.1 megapixal camera. Cooooolll... Now, I’m always a fan of beautiful pictures. It fascinates me when I see a nice shot. Those time and moment freeze in picture is simply amazing. And, I like taking loads of photos. Pictures to me are a memory as I am quite forgetful and taking pictures gives me a pleasure… a satisfaction. I can’t afford those fancy huge cameras. For me, my Sony Aino gives me the equal pleasure as well cos it allows me to capture these amazing images anytime anywhere and best of all.. I can also share it instantly in Facebook. Best kan? It also has a built in wifi allowing me to log into web, anywhere and anytime. There's also the built in GPS, MP3 player.. 8GB memory.. Phew! Here I go bragging about my phone. hehe.. Starbucks is usually my hotspot. It’s my place to hang out nowadays for a good cup of Caramel Macchiato and just chillex while browsing the net. Huh! Cool kan? :D
What else? Well… let’s talk about HIKING? Now, hiking has never been an interest to me. The sweat, the heat, the walk, the climb, the aching back & feet and muscle cramps…. never really a good friend my mine. But still, I put all those behind, endured the pain… and managed to conquer Pantai Kerachut hike. Sounded more like I hike up mount Kinabalu… but no.. it was just here in Penang. But it was worth it. Thanks to my buddies too. They really motivated me to not chicken out half way and talked me into finishing it. It was all good and I had a great time.
Arrghh.. There are so many things to write here. All those things I did.
Things are finally turning brighter for me after so long. I am enjoying myself every bit of it. May Allah SWT bless me all the way.
Will keep my post here active.. InsyaAllah.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sh*t..
Shi*t.. Shi*t.. Shi*t..
How can I forget to pay up my credit card bill huh?? For 2 months plak tu. WTF!
Sigh! And worse of all.. I have been getting all these reminders via sms and also phone calls, and I totally ignored it. Thinking that I can put a delay to it for a while.. Yeah right!! I still missed to make the payment until BAAMM.. I got slapped with the 2nd reminder asking me to settle the minimum payment before SHI*T.. my name get raised in the Bank Negara record.. That’s serious stuff wey!
Damn it! I have to get my financial priorities straight. Things have been getting out of hands these past couple of months. It’s like what I earn is not what I get. Everything’s going for something.. Somewhere.. And before you know it... I’m totally broke! Feel like crying out loud most of the time. Sigh! I hate credit cards. Trust me when you apply for them, they promise all these wonderful things to you, it’s all a game play I say. Part of the scam to attract you and to lure you in and by the time you know it. You might have over spent above your income limit, and then you’ll go and buy things you don’t really need and wonder why you bought it at the first place. “Why pay cash when you can pay with your credit card” they say. Sish! The sucking part of the truth reality is, nothing is free when you purchase with your credit card. There is reward for the points you spent on. But these points is nothing to shout about compared to the $$ you will have pay at the end of the month when you’re slapped with the bill. Sigggggghhhh!
Can I put the blame totally on the inauspicious year of 2010? It’s an even number year. I remember facing some sorta similar problem back in 2008. See, I don’t have this luck with even number years. Good things happen to me on odd years.
Hmm.. But I wouldn’t say 2010 is all that bad. I have a good number of things that happened this year. And some of the good things involve me in it. Good things do happen and bad things happen occasionally. Well, it’s how you manage your problems that matters.
I need to settle my card debts by end of this week. Sigh! Hope these kinda things don’t happen again.
How can I forget to pay up my credit card bill huh?? For 2 months plak tu. WTF!
Sigh! And worse of all.. I have been getting all these reminders via sms and also phone calls, and I totally ignored it. Thinking that I can put a delay to it for a while.. Yeah right!! I still missed to make the payment until BAAMM.. I got slapped with the 2nd reminder asking me to settle the minimum payment before SHI*T.. my name get raised in the Bank Negara record.. That’s serious stuff wey!
Damn it! I have to get my financial priorities straight. Things have been getting out of hands these past couple of months. It’s like what I earn is not what I get. Everything’s going for something.. Somewhere.. And before you know it... I’m totally broke! Feel like crying out loud most of the time. Sigh! I hate credit cards. Trust me when you apply for them, they promise all these wonderful things to you, it’s all a game play I say. Part of the scam to attract you and to lure you in and by the time you know it. You might have over spent above your income limit, and then you’ll go and buy things you don’t really need and wonder why you bought it at the first place. “Why pay cash when you can pay with your credit card” they say. Sish! The sucking part of the truth reality is, nothing is free when you purchase with your credit card. There is reward for the points you spent on. But these points is nothing to shout about compared to the $$ you will have pay at the end of the month when you’re slapped with the bill. Sigggggghhhh!
Can I put the blame totally on the inauspicious year of 2010? It’s an even number year. I remember facing some sorta similar problem back in 2008. See, I don’t have this luck with even number years. Good things happen to me on odd years.
Hmm.. But I wouldn’t say 2010 is all that bad. I have a good number of things that happened this year. And some of the good things involve me in it. Good things do happen and bad things happen occasionally. Well, it’s how you manage your problems that matters.
I need to settle my card debts by end of this week. Sigh! Hope these kinda things don’t happen again.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
blog blug bloggin'..
Blekqq..
This is one of the most simple and short way of expressing myself these days. Suck doesn't it? I have Q4 coming to an end soon. There’s less then 2 months for job completion, JCFs to sign, project sign-offs, deliveries to meet... blab bla.. I’m like way on top with work and see... I am too stressed; I’m blogging during office hours. Hehehe. (alasan). But it’s the truth. All there project execution and sales order tracking making me sick to my stomach. It gets worse when you have crappy people you have to work with and you get minimum co-operation from them. These suckers need to be reminded all the time on how to do their work and even after several reminders, they still miss it and go “oops.. lupa la cheq..” hotak hang lupa. Phew! (relax fazi.. calm down.. deep breath). I can’t afford to be in stress. Cos study shows, Stress can lead to many disastrous situations and believe me, I have experienced it many many times.
I’m bored with all these daily routine in life. I tend to get bored very easily. Weird! That is why I have pledged to myself to make a difference in life. Change for good.. change for the better I say. Stress will always be there so there’s no escape from it. But at the same time, we need to work out way to find solutions for these stresses on how we can overcome it. So what do I do? I engage myself in activities I find interest in. I keep myself occupied and do more stuff I like. I go out more often with family and friends. Do things I like to do and most importantly.... I give priority to my health now. And trust me... It feels GREAT and I’m lovin’ it. It’s all good and it helps me release those negative vibes and helps me calm down. I pick my fat bones up and I do it! No more excuses nowadays. Those things I gave excuses before... Now I actually do it. hehehehe.. Well, this is telling ya that I am moving forward in life... the positive way. I have found ways to deal with my stress and believe me... It feels great! I feel more alive, I live a better life, health wise has improved, social wise improved as well. I feel great as I do see result from all if this. Especially the good result concerning my health.
Life can be tough at times but we should take it up as challenges and work our way with it. Love what you do and you will feel better.
Just the other day, I was looking at some photos taken a few months back. And I gotta admit, I'm proud to say that I am now NOT what I used to be. I have changed and still trying my best to change for a better life. Best of all, my changes has also inspired others to follow and I feel proud. The “Prior Fat Girl” is not so fat anymore... and she is inspiring others to go for healthy lifestyle. All for the purpose of good health and better future :) May Allah SWT bless me and give me strength to move forward.
Hey! I'm turning *0 this coming November wey! The beginning of a new decade in my life. I need to do something that I can use to look back into and say "Hey! I've done that before I turn (ehem.. )*0. and I’m proud if it.
So.. a few more days to go before the actual BIG day. I can't wait to celebrate. At the same time, I'm like freakin' sad cos I won't be able to say "I'm in my 20s.." ANYMORE! huwawawa... *cryin* I bet you know my agre by now.. hehehehe.. suspend konon.
Well, I’ll list down those interesting things I've done before I turn *0.... soon :)
This is one of the most simple and short way of expressing myself these days. Suck doesn't it? I have Q4 coming to an end soon. There’s less then 2 months for job completion, JCFs to sign, project sign-offs, deliveries to meet... blab bla.. I’m like way on top with work and see... I am too stressed; I’m blogging during office hours. Hehehe. (alasan). But it’s the truth. All there project execution and sales order tracking making me sick to my stomach. It gets worse when you have crappy people you have to work with and you get minimum co-operation from them. These suckers need to be reminded all the time on how to do their work and even after several reminders, they still miss it and go “oops.. lupa la cheq..” hotak hang lupa. Phew! (relax fazi.. calm down.. deep breath). I can’t afford to be in stress. Cos study shows, Stress can lead to many disastrous situations and believe me, I have experienced it many many times.
I’m bored with all these daily routine in life. I tend to get bored very easily. Weird! That is why I have pledged to myself to make a difference in life. Change for good.. change for the better I say. Stress will always be there so there’s no escape from it. But at the same time, we need to work out way to find solutions for these stresses on how we can overcome it. So what do I do? I engage myself in activities I find interest in. I keep myself occupied and do more stuff I like. I go out more often with family and friends. Do things I like to do and most importantly.... I give priority to my health now. And trust me... It feels GREAT and I’m lovin’ it. It’s all good and it helps me release those negative vibes and helps me calm down. I pick my fat bones up and I do it! No more excuses nowadays. Those things I gave excuses before... Now I actually do it. hehehehe.. Well, this is telling ya that I am moving forward in life... the positive way. I have found ways to deal with my stress and believe me... It feels great! I feel more alive, I live a better life, health wise has improved, social wise improved as well. I feel great as I do see result from all if this. Especially the good result concerning my health.
Life can be tough at times but we should take it up as challenges and work our way with it. Love what you do and you will feel better.
Just the other day, I was looking at some photos taken a few months back. And I gotta admit, I'm proud to say that I am now NOT what I used to be. I have changed and still trying my best to change for a better life. Best of all, my changes has also inspired others to follow and I feel proud. The “Prior Fat Girl” is not so fat anymore... and she is inspiring others to go for healthy lifestyle. All for the purpose of good health and better future :) May Allah SWT bless me and give me strength to move forward.
Hey! I'm turning *0 this coming November wey! The beginning of a new decade in my life. I need to do something that I can use to look back into and say "Hey! I've done that before I turn (ehem.. )*0. and I’m proud if it.
So.. a few more days to go before the actual BIG day. I can't wait to celebrate. At the same time, I'm like freakin' sad cos I won't be able to say "I'm in my 20s.." ANYMORE! huwawawa... *cryin* I bet you know my agre by now.. hehehehe.. suspend konon.
Well, I’ll list down those interesting things I've done before I turn *0.... soon :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Feeling
I have discovered a pattern about how and what I update in my blog. I notice I often update entries when times I feel down, upset, angry, frustrated, depressed, sad or simply not in a mood for any pleasant happy thoughts. Almost all my entries are my express of remorse and unhappiness and I often let it out here cos well... I guess it’s just hard to share it with anyone fearing they might not understand what I’m going through. What if they laugh at me? What if they think my problem is nothing for me to be upset about? Sometimes, other people won’t realize, it might not be personal to them, but it’s personal to me.
My life is boring. Hate to admit it but it’s a fact cos I hardly engage in any interesting or happening activities. So, most of my times are either spent at home or at work. Happiness for me is a great deal but overall I am happy really. And sometimes, I do share my happy experiences here. Hoping I would read it someday in future and when I do, I’ll feel happy about it all over again.
Sharing feelings are not something I’m quite good at. I do talk to my friends and family about it sometimes but I don’t share everything. What can you possibly share with your friends? Boyfriend problems... family problems... issues at work or simply about an annoying or superb someone you come in path with. Well, how about your family? Hm... Tough question ek? But honestly... my family is quite supportive. But they can be quite a pain too. Heck! What are families for right? You win some.. you loose some :p Well, sometimes, you can share a lot of things with your favourite sisters... simple things like about a cute guy I met... How he gave me goosebumps when he just turns around at me and smiles :) hehehe... or that bitchy boss I just hate so much... sheesh! And with your loving and caring mum... well, almost everything about what’s going on in your life. Well, sometimes, not everything too. How about your dad? What can you share with him? I question myself a lot on what I can share with my dad.
My dad is my hero. He’s a brilliant man and growing up under his shadow and guidance has taught me great deals about life. He’s a very wonderful man, very knowledgeable, very informative, very disciplined, very organized, much respected, very well recognized among our relatives and his friends and people he work with. People often seek his guidance and advice on certain things.
But sometimes dad can really say things which make your feelings hurt. I love him so much but why can’t he understand that I have feelings too and my feelings are very fragile. I’m a very sensitive person and I tend to get offended and hurt very easily. Sometimes, this mix feeling of emotion is kept inside me and I don’t share it with anyone.
Dad... it’s tough trying to be the perfect daughter all the time. I am trying my best to be a good daughter and make you happy but sometimes, I need some help from you too. Please try to understand me and that I love you so much. I still need your guidance and support cos there are certain things I just couldn’t handle on my own. But sometimes, you also need to understand that I cannot be always right and you cannot be right all the time too. We are not perfect... None of us are. But what we can do is try to make the best out of life and enjoy it in any possible way. People make mistakes... so do we.
I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt your feelings dad. I love you so much.
My life is boring. Hate to admit it but it’s a fact cos I hardly engage in any interesting or happening activities. So, most of my times are either spent at home or at work. Happiness for me is a great deal but overall I am happy really. And sometimes, I do share my happy experiences here. Hoping I would read it someday in future and when I do, I’ll feel happy about it all over again.
Sharing feelings are not something I’m quite good at. I do talk to my friends and family about it sometimes but I don’t share everything. What can you possibly share with your friends? Boyfriend problems... family problems... issues at work or simply about an annoying or superb someone you come in path with. Well, how about your family? Hm... Tough question ek? But honestly... my family is quite supportive. But they can be quite a pain too. Heck! What are families for right? You win some.. you loose some :p Well, sometimes, you can share a lot of things with your favourite sisters... simple things like about a cute guy I met... How he gave me goosebumps when he just turns around at me and smiles :) hehehe... or that bitchy boss I just hate so much... sheesh! And with your loving and caring mum... well, almost everything about what’s going on in your life. Well, sometimes, not everything too. How about your dad? What can you share with him? I question myself a lot on what I can share with my dad.
My dad is my hero. He’s a brilliant man and growing up under his shadow and guidance has taught me great deals about life. He’s a very wonderful man, very knowledgeable, very informative, very disciplined, very organized, much respected, very well recognized among our relatives and his friends and people he work with. People often seek his guidance and advice on certain things.
But sometimes dad can really say things which make your feelings hurt. I love him so much but why can’t he understand that I have feelings too and my feelings are very fragile. I’m a very sensitive person and I tend to get offended and hurt very easily. Sometimes, this mix feeling of emotion is kept inside me and I don’t share it with anyone.
Dad... it’s tough trying to be the perfect daughter all the time. I am trying my best to be a good daughter and make you happy but sometimes, I need some help from you too. Please try to understand me and that I love you so much. I still need your guidance and support cos there are certain things I just couldn’t handle on my own. But sometimes, you also need to understand that I cannot be always right and you cannot be right all the time too. We are not perfect... None of us are. But what we can do is try to make the best out of life and enjoy it in any possible way. People make mistakes... so do we.
I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt your feelings dad. I love you so much.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
You can let go...
I love this song. I've tried to find the MP3 version of it but just couldn't find it. Susah mau cari lah. Hm.. everytime I see this song will surely bring tears to my eyes.
This heartwarming story captures the life cycle of a daughter and her father and his daughter as they share the moments to remember in life. Thanks to 'Crystal Shawandas ballad, You Can Let Go. The value of Everlasting Love is poignantly conveyed in an encouraging message for all ages.
This heartwarming story captures the life cycle of a daughter and her father and his daughter as they share the moments to remember in life. Thanks to 'Crystal Shawandas ballad, You Can Let Go. The value of Everlasting Love is poignantly conveyed in an encouraging message for all ages.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Goodbye is the saddest thing to say...
The saddest thing to say is indeed 'GoodBye'.. Especially when it is said by someone you dearly love and cherish.
I usually skip this song from Celine Dion. Even though most of my friends told me this song is really nice but I just didin't bother to listen to it until today. I almost cried.. I had to hold back my tears cos this song is really beautiful. And Celine really sang it so well.
Mother's day is coming soon. Hm.. I better start making plans from now and celebrate it with mum. I want to make sure she's happy always. There are alot of things that's going on right now in her life. She's mostly worried especially about her childrens. About Kak Idah's sickness, about Kak Eton's life, about kak Shida's family and about my future. She is especially worried about me cos I am the youngest one and the only one who's still not married. But mum.. dont worry ok. Your daughters are all well and life just moves on.
CELINE - Goodbye's (The Saddest Word)
Mamma
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
Mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love
Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman
Mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
But the love you gave me will always live
You'll always be there every time I fall
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes
And when you need me
I'll be there for you always
I'll be there your whole life through
I'll be there this I promise you, Mamma
Mamma, I'll be
I'll be your beacon through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye
I usually skip this song from Celine Dion. Even though most of my friends told me this song is really nice but I just didin't bother to listen to it until today. I almost cried.. I had to hold back my tears cos this song is really beautiful. And Celine really sang it so well.
Mother's day is coming soon. Hm.. I better start making plans from now and celebrate it with mum. I want to make sure she's happy always. There are alot of things that's going on right now in her life. She's mostly worried especially about her childrens. About Kak Idah's sickness, about Kak Eton's life, about kak Shida's family and about my future. She is especially worried about me cos I am the youngest one and the only one who's still not married. But mum.. dont worry ok. Your daughters are all well and life just moves on.
CELINE - Goodbye's (The Saddest Word)
Mamma
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
Mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love
Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman
Mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
But the love you gave me will always live
You'll always be there every time I fall
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes
And when you need me
I'll be there for you always
I'll be there your whole life through
I'll be there this I promise you, Mamma
Mamma, I'll be
I'll be your beacon through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I need some time-off..
Lately, I’ve been getting some irritating and hurtful comments about my weight. What the @#$&%!* hell is wrong with you people? Don’t they realize that sometimes their sharp words can hurt other people’s feelings? Why is it so difficult for these people to watch their words and mind their language? Just because I am a bit (ehem..) oversized, doesn’t mean I have no feelings or my feelings IS NOT covered with fat ok. I know and I understand my body very well, better then you do and I do care for my body so you guys please.. before you give such comments, tengok2 la dulu... hati dan perasaan orang. I’m sick of these people. People who always look and evaluate other people flaws but they often fail to see the damages in their own life? So bug off ok!
Sigh! I am sometimes sick and tired of these kinda people’s attitude towards others. Sometimes, It’s just too impossible to get away from them cos they are just there no matter where you go.
Lately, I’ve been having that weird feeling again. It was the feeling where the world is closing in and I am alone again. Damn! I hate that feeling. The feeling of being lost in your own space and you are wondering around looking for a way out. What do you call that kinda feeling anyway? Am I growing depressed or what?? Hmmm.. I also had some weird dreams too. I dreamt of huge massive FIRE... TWICE. A few months back I dreamt that a part of Seberang Prai caught fire and we can actually feel the heat and see the sky all dark and orangey with smoke billow up in the sky. The heat was so intense until we can feel it from Penang. The debris was carrying fire sparks and it is falling on some houses and causing it to catch fire as well. I was desperately trying to keep my house all wet by sprinkling water from the hose so that it won’t catch fire. (Haah! ada macam cerita Steven Spielberg tak?.. hehe) But, seriously... should I be worried? Or could it be that probably my mind is playing tricks on me cos I am excausted. Well, lately I’m not so in a mood at work as well. Probably that could play a factor to all these weird dreams. Did I tell you I even dreamt about my boss... hehehehe... this is funny. Huhu.. I dreamt that my lady boss is having an affair.. with a malay dude some more. Very creepy. Hehe.
So, I need a time-off. I need to break free from all these nonsense and go somewhere. Get away from all these hectic life schedules. So, the other day, I went on a road trip to Tanjung Dawai with my mum, my auntie and Ijah. Just a good long drive along the old road to Sungai Petani. No proper plans made. Just got up that morning and told my mum.. “Jom pe tanjung Dawai nak?” and my mum just said ok... Probably, she wants to buy all that ikan bilis and ikan kering kot. Hehehe.. Mum wanted to go along the old route to Sungai Petani so my auntie lead the way and Yup! We got lost. My auntie lead the way and somehow we ended up at the Butterworth Cargo Terminal and paid RM1.20.. TWICE just to get in and out of there. Don’t ask me how we ended up there cos I had no idea. Hehehe... Hey! At least we got the chance to see Penang plak from Butterworth and it was so beautiful.
Anyway, I called my uncle and after confirming the correct route to take, we headed into Bagan Ajam and soon we were on our way to Sungai Petani... via the old route. Sigh! Hehehe. The main thing is, although we were lost, we still managed to enjoy and share laughter and it was all in good fun. It was almost 3pm and we made a quick stop at Kepala Batas for our excellent lunch at Kedai Ikan Bakar Din. Memang syiok gila la. Very delicious choices of seafood to choose from but I didn’t take the huge giant prawn cos it cost RM30-40 per prawn o_0 Mahal giler wey... I went like “Brapa udang nih pakcik??” all excited faced cos I wanted to take if he said Rm10-15 per piece. But instead, the pakcik said “30/40 hinggit sekor... nak??” "eeerrr... hehehe" I just gave him a sheepish smile and quickly walked away to the other side :p So, I ended up taking 2 huge piece of Ikan bakar pari, Ikan terubok for mum, one plate full of sotong and daging bakar, telur ikan, ulam2.. and it cost only RM44 for 4 person. Not bad ek. Check out this blog errr.. since I didn’t take any pictures cos I was eerrr.. ‘busy’..
--> http://orangkecilorangbesar.blogspot.com/2009/06/restoran-ikan-bakar-din-kepala-batas.html
We reached Tanjung Dawai at around 4pm. As usual, the suffocating smell of dried fish filled the air. Mak dengan makcik apa lagi... eehhhmmm... borong jer la hehehehe. All I bought was some packets keropok tue pun cos they sold 4 packets for 10 bucks. Kira ok la. Check out these pictures I took. Unfortunately, I cannot take photo of the smell. Otherwise, you would have known how bad it really stinks. :p phew!
By the time we reached home... it was around 7pm. But the whole trip was all in good fun. My mum was happy cos she managed to stock up her ikan bilis and ikan kering supply. As for myself... I get some time-off and get to relax and enjoy myself.
Sigh! I am sometimes sick and tired of these kinda people’s attitude towards others. Sometimes, It’s just too impossible to get away from them cos they are just there no matter where you go.
Lately, I’ve been having that weird feeling again. It was the feeling where the world is closing in and I am alone again. Damn! I hate that feeling. The feeling of being lost in your own space and you are wondering around looking for a way out. What do you call that kinda feeling anyway? Am I growing depressed or what?? Hmmm.. I also had some weird dreams too. I dreamt of huge massive FIRE... TWICE. A few months back I dreamt that a part of Seberang Prai caught fire and we can actually feel the heat and see the sky all dark and orangey with smoke billow up in the sky. The heat was so intense until we can feel it from Penang. The debris was carrying fire sparks and it is falling on some houses and causing it to catch fire as well. I was desperately trying to keep my house all wet by sprinkling water from the hose so that it won’t catch fire. (Haah! ada macam cerita Steven Spielberg tak?.. hehe) But, seriously... should I be worried? Or could it be that probably my mind is playing tricks on me cos I am excausted. Well, lately I’m not so in a mood at work as well. Probably that could play a factor to all these weird dreams. Did I tell you I even dreamt about my boss... hehehehe... this is funny. Huhu.. I dreamt that my lady boss is having an affair.. with a malay dude some more. Very creepy. Hehe.
So, I need a time-off. I need to break free from all these nonsense and go somewhere. Get away from all these hectic life schedules. So, the other day, I went on a road trip to Tanjung Dawai with my mum, my auntie and Ijah. Just a good long drive along the old road to Sungai Petani. No proper plans made. Just got up that morning and told my mum.. “Jom pe tanjung Dawai nak?” and my mum just said ok... Probably, she wants to buy all that ikan bilis and ikan kering kot. Hehehe.. Mum wanted to go along the old route to Sungai Petani so my auntie lead the way and Yup! We got lost. My auntie lead the way and somehow we ended up at the Butterworth Cargo Terminal and paid RM1.20.. TWICE just to get in and out of there. Don’t ask me how we ended up there cos I had no idea. Hehehe... Hey! At least we got the chance to see Penang plak from Butterworth and it was so beautiful.
Anyway, I called my uncle and after confirming the correct route to take, we headed into Bagan Ajam and soon we were on our way to Sungai Petani... via the old route. Sigh! Hehehe. The main thing is, although we were lost, we still managed to enjoy and share laughter and it was all in good fun. It was almost 3pm and we made a quick stop at Kepala Batas for our excellent lunch at Kedai Ikan Bakar Din. Memang syiok gila la. Very delicious choices of seafood to choose from but I didn’t take the huge giant prawn cos it cost RM30-40 per prawn o_0 Mahal giler wey... I went like “Brapa udang nih pakcik??” all excited faced cos I wanted to take if he said Rm10-15 per piece. But instead, the pakcik said “30/40 hinggit sekor... nak??” "eeerrr... hehehe" I just gave him a sheepish smile and quickly walked away to the other side :p So, I ended up taking 2 huge piece of Ikan bakar pari, Ikan terubok for mum, one plate full of sotong and daging bakar, telur ikan, ulam2.. and it cost only RM44 for 4 person. Not bad ek. Check out this blog errr.. since I didn’t take any pictures cos I was eerrr.. ‘busy’..
--> http://orangkecilorangbesar.blogspot.com/2009/06/restoran-ikan-bakar-din-kepala-batas.html
We reached Tanjung Dawai at around 4pm. As usual, the suffocating smell of dried fish filled the air. Mak dengan makcik apa lagi... eehhhmmm... borong jer la hehehehe. All I bought was some packets keropok tue pun cos they sold 4 packets for 10 bucks. Kira ok la. Check out these pictures I took. Unfortunately, I cannot take photo of the smell. Otherwise, you would have known how bad it really stinks. :p phew!
By the time we reached home... it was around 7pm. But the whole trip was all in good fun. My mum was happy cos she managed to stock up her ikan bilis and ikan kering supply. As for myself... I get some time-off and get to relax and enjoy myself.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Mr Zac
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENCIK ZAC ZAINI..
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES, HOPES AND DREAMS COME TRUE. MAY YOUR DAYS BE FILLED WITH LOTZ OF LOVE AND SUNSHINES, LAUGHTER AND HAPPINESS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY.. MAY ALLAH SWT BLESS YOU ALWAYS...
Happy Birthday my dear friend :)
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eeerr.. So apacam Encik Zaini?
After our SMS chats tadi... ada 'Gemba Bumi' tak? So, ada 'Tsunami' warning ke? hehehe...
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES, HOPES AND DREAMS COME TRUE. MAY YOUR DAYS BE FILLED WITH LOTZ OF LOVE AND SUNSHINES, LAUGHTER AND HAPPINESS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY.. MAY ALLAH SWT BLESS YOU ALWAYS...
Happy Birthday my dear friend :)
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eeerr.. So apacam Encik Zaini?
After our SMS chats tadi... ada 'Gemba Bumi' tak? So, ada 'Tsunami' warning ke? hehehe...
An unexpected result..
Long story cut short.. That interview I attended last week, well, I just found out from my friend that I didn’t get the job. Apparently they decided to hire another candidate who’s probably is much hotter then I am. Probably wears sexy mini skirts that reveals her sexy hairless legs and probably top unbuttoned shirt that reveals her busty lines. Sigh! What wild imagination. Makes me want to check out who this person who they think is much more qualified then I am...
The minute I heard the result from my friend... well, honestly speaking... I was heartbroken. I was really looking forward for this job. And the way my friend described the whole job availability made it sound like I almost got it already and attending the interview is just for a formality purpose. This sucks you know. I was too convinced that I would get it. I also drafted my resignation letter hoping that I just have to add the dates, sign the damn latter and throw it at my boss’s face. Well, the dream won’t come true. At least not now. Looks like I’m still stuck here. Working my same ole’ boring routine work and hoping for a change. Though I would be very much happy if ‘she’ who shall not be named resigns. I bet life would be much more simpler and happier.
The minute I heard the result from my friend... well, honestly speaking... I was heartbroken. I was really looking forward for this job. And the way my friend described the whole job availability made it sound like I almost got it already and attending the interview is just for a formality purpose. This sucks you know. I was too convinced that I would get it. I also drafted my resignation letter hoping that I just have to add the dates, sign the damn latter and throw it at my boss’s face. Well, the dream won’t come true. At least not now. Looks like I’m still stuck here. Working my same ole’ boring routine work and hoping for a change. Though I would be very much happy if ‘she’ who shall not be named resigns. I bet life would be much more simpler and happier.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Gotta keep on going
Great!! It’s already the month of April. I have another 7 months to go to my birthday.(0_o)
A lot if things have happened these past few days. Nothing sweet or sincere. There’s a lot of bitter heart and grudges going on actually. I feel like my work is beginning to show the other side of it... the other bitter side of it. Work has always been pleasurable even though sometimes you really feel like you’re been choked, but it was always a pleasure. But lately, I really have no mood to work. Could it be because I am looking forward for the job change? Or could it be because the lack of motivation to work here. I mean, what's the point beb?? You are not appreciated and the worse thing is, you feel like you are being stepped on even harder. Everytime you just do something you think is right, there's always a fullstop. You think you are performing well and the next thing you know, you are being evaluated and being so called 'reviewed'. That's what I got last week Friday. Apparently my boss dunno who she could pick on so she choose me! Blardy hell... Who she think she is.. What's that term she used!! oh yah!! "Set expectation alignment with Cost down Methodology" in short what my boss is trying to tell me is that "there's no increment this year" Blardy arsh. Just imagine, you worked your ass off last year for a good year of success. We managed to achieve our sales no. by 106%. That’s an increase of another 6% out of the total no. and last year was the highest no we have ever achieved in Penang sales history. But for what?? We work so hard hoping for a better reward, instead we got CRAP! Yup.. stinky gooey sickening CRAP!! Sigh! Well, I dunno... but what ever it is, I need to pick up the pace and start working.. work... work... work.. WORK GRRRrrr...
I like this song from Miley Cyrus. I’ll always remember those last words in the song.
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith....
Right now, I just have to push myself. I know I might be miles and miles away from what I truly desire in life but I just need to push myself to reach there. I know working here can be a pain sometimes, but I just have to do it. With my current financial status, I really cannot afford to lack. Ya Allah... please help me and show me the right path. Please show me some light.
The Climb By Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb...
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
A lot if things have happened these past few days. Nothing sweet or sincere. There’s a lot of bitter heart and grudges going on actually. I feel like my work is beginning to show the other side of it... the other bitter side of it. Work has always been pleasurable even though sometimes you really feel like you’re been choked, but it was always a pleasure. But lately, I really have no mood to work. Could it be because I am looking forward for the job change? Or could it be because the lack of motivation to work here. I mean, what's the point beb?? You are not appreciated and the worse thing is, you feel like you are being stepped on even harder. Everytime you just do something you think is right, there's always a fullstop. You think you are performing well and the next thing you know, you are being evaluated and being so called 'reviewed'. That's what I got last week Friday. Apparently my boss dunno who she could pick on so she choose me! Blardy hell... Who she think she is.. What's that term she used!! oh yah!! "Set expectation alignment with Cost down Methodology" in short what my boss is trying to tell me is that "there's no increment this year" Blardy arsh. Just imagine, you worked your ass off last year for a good year of success. We managed to achieve our sales no. by 106%. That’s an increase of another 6% out of the total no. and last year was the highest no we have ever achieved in Penang sales history. But for what?? We work so hard hoping for a better reward, instead we got CRAP! Yup.. stinky gooey sickening CRAP!! Sigh! Well, I dunno... but what ever it is, I need to pick up the pace and start working.. work... work... work.. WORK GRRRrrr...
I like this song from Miley Cyrus. I’ll always remember those last words in the song.
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith....
Right now, I just have to push myself. I know I might be miles and miles away from what I truly desire in life but I just need to push myself to reach there. I know working here can be a pain sometimes, but I just have to do it. With my current financial status, I really cannot afford to lack. Ya Allah... please help me and show me the right path. Please show me some light.
The Climb By Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb...
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I am SO de-motivated right now :(
Everyone is working around the clock for the quarter closing. There’s a lot of sales orders to close, customer’s deadline to meet, documentation to prepare.. bla bla bla.. and on top of that, I have an AM chasing me with a tender for submission this Thursday. There are a lot of things she needs to settle and she attended a seminar this morning. Sigh! The sense of responsibility some people carries sometimes amazes me.
Anyway, just now after the meeting, a colleague broke a bad news that I was not expecting at all... No Increment this year.... I went like WHAAATTT!!#@?? “Are you f*cking kidding me? All that hard work put up for last year to get the best achievement in sales ever for Northern all wasted for nothing. Some of the big shots get to go for oversea trips for their so called achievements for 2009, and all those who are back-stage contributors to close the sales gets CRAP!! What is the world leading to nowadays?
There you go, another good point and all the more reason why I should move out now while I still have the chance.
BIG Sigh!!
Anyway, just now after the meeting, a colleague broke a bad news that I was not expecting at all... No Increment this year.... I went like WHAAATTT!!#@?? “Are you f*cking kidding me? All that hard work put up for last year to get the best achievement in sales ever for Northern all wasted for nothing. Some of the big shots get to go for oversea trips for their so called achievements for 2009, and all those who are back-stage contributors to close the sales gets CRAP!! What is the world leading to nowadays?
There you go, another good point and all the more reason why I should move out now while I still have the chance.
BIG Sigh!!
Monday, March 29, 2010
All went well ;) hehe
So, guess what? Last Friday, my friend called me up for an Interview today at 2pm. Only Allah knows how nervous I was. My first ever interview after almost 6 years. And after this 6 years... this morning baru I searched my room for my cert file :p It was all dusty and got a few tahi cicak on it also. I know. Total memalukan but what can I do, not that I get to attend interview often, right. Anyway, I was wearing one of my best office outfits. Even at the office this morning, a few of them asked me... “Whoa! Someone’s in a cheerful Monday mood today!!” Yeah right sister, I can’t tell them “Oh! I have an interview later” right :p buat bodoh jer la. You guys will know soon. Muahahaha..
Little did I expect I would be so nervous today... Not to mention since it’s quarter end, there were a lot of things to do. I wanted to do some case study about the organization but I was very tied-packed this morning until I even had no time to pee. Just in a while it was almost 1pm. Gulp! So here we go! Had to just adjust with whatever little knowledge I had about that company. Thank God some of Dad’s advice about the company helped.
And you know what, dah la I was nervous this morning and I was so expecting to be in a cheerful and calm mood, my stupid pretentious sad excuse for a boss gave me a heart-ache. Gosh! She can be such a pain in the a$$. And it was not even my fault to begin with but I got her ‘bossy’ email saying I should be more responsible in ensuring things were in proper documentation. WTF&&@!# Like la all these while she was an expert in what I was doing right. I was so pissed off with her and all I can do was ignore her. The funny thing is, after all the ‘being responsible’ emails she sent, she still had the cheek to call me out for lunch. Grrrr!!
Anyway, what is important for me right now is that the interview went well and I managed to stay calm, firm in answering the questions, stay confident and most importantly... I was being myself.
Hehehe.. sempat plak tadi aku singgah Queensbay just now after the interview :p Well, I had to do some shopping cos who knows, I would want to look at my best on my 'first day' at work nanti right... hehe. Besides, I was damn hungry cos I rushed for the interview straight after my half-day at work. So, where la got time to go for lunch just now. Some of my friends wanted to go for that oooo... delicious Nasi Melayu behind Penang GH cos they planned to visit one of our colleague who was admitted there. Sadly, I had to say NO cos, tak nak plak perut buncit later. I might accidently burp at my interviewer face and later cannot sit down comfortably. Hehehe.. I even told Sim just now that I sometimes yawn when I'm too nrevous. :P Thank God I was spared of such humiliation.
Hm... I hope I will get good news soon. But what ever it is, I hope the benefits will be up to my expectation.
Syukur Ya Allah..
Little did I expect I would be so nervous today... Not to mention since it’s quarter end, there were a lot of things to do. I wanted to do some case study about the organization but I was very tied-packed this morning until I even had no time to pee. Just in a while it was almost 1pm. Gulp! So here we go! Had to just adjust with whatever little knowledge I had about that company. Thank God some of Dad’s advice about the company helped.
And you know what, dah la I was nervous this morning and I was so expecting to be in a cheerful and calm mood, my stupid pretentious sad excuse for a boss gave me a heart-ache. Gosh! She can be such a pain in the a$$. And it was not even my fault to begin with but I got her ‘bossy’ email saying I should be more responsible in ensuring things were in proper documentation. WTF&&@!# Like la all these while she was an expert in what I was doing right. I was so pissed off with her and all I can do was ignore her. The funny thing is, after all the ‘being responsible’ emails she sent, she still had the cheek to call me out for lunch. Grrrr!!
Anyway, what is important for me right now is that the interview went well and I managed to stay calm, firm in answering the questions, stay confident and most importantly... I was being myself.
Hehehe.. sempat plak tadi aku singgah Queensbay just now after the interview :p Well, I had to do some shopping cos who knows, I would want to look at my best on my 'first day' at work nanti right... hehe. Besides, I was damn hungry cos I rushed for the interview straight after my half-day at work. So, where la got time to go for lunch just now. Some of my friends wanted to go for that oooo... delicious Nasi Melayu behind Penang GH cos they planned to visit one of our colleague who was admitted there. Sadly, I had to say NO cos, tak nak plak perut buncit later. I might accidently burp at my interviewer face and later cannot sit down comfortably. Hehehe.. I even told Sim just now that I sometimes yawn when I'm too nrevous. :P Thank God I was spared of such humiliation.
Hm... I hope I will get good news soon. But what ever it is, I hope the benefits will be up to my expectation.
Syukur Ya Allah..
Thursday, March 25, 2010
let's move forward
I got a call from a close friend today. We used to work together then early last year, she decided to quit and join another organization. We were quite close buddies and she is one of my few friends who understands my jokes and really enjoys being fun and doing crazy stuff... hehehe... a very cheerful person to be around with and a very wise person to look up to. Well, nowadays she hardly calls. Now that she moved to another office location and she is really tied up with workload. Even though we don’t work together, we still go out for lunch sometimes and have a good laugh chatting and gossiping. Hehe...
But today, I got a few miss calls from her at around 3pm. It was odd indeed for her to be calling me at this time of hour and cannot figure out what could possibly be the reason. I was unable to answer her calls just now as I was in a meeting with the big ‘Cat’. Yup! The same ole’ ‘Big Cat’ who never misses to fly all the way from Subang every single freaking Wednesday just to sit in a meeting with the team here which last maximum pun for about 2 hours. But sish! Who’s complaining right! And the pressure I was in the meeting just now was indescribable. Since my boss was not around as she was off for a holiday she don’t deserve (ehem)... while I on the other hand was stuck here and had to present him the numbers for quarter one closing and man does he have a lot of questions to ask. Feel like just screaming off at him telling him “Go and look for your own numbers you %(#&%@#...” but hey! Who’s complaining... again...
Anywaaay... when I got back to my workplace I got 3 miss calls from my friend. So I called her back and guess what... She asked me if I would be interested to join her organization. :) :)It seem that some girl in her team couldn’t take the pressure and the work load kononyer so she decided to quit. So, they are really short of hand to manage the workload and she asked me.... ME... if I am interested. Muahaha.. Teruja rasa la. Ada jugak orang teringat kat aku and asked me to join their organization. I must be good and hot.. ok! skip the hot part if you think it's not suitable. Sish!!
I was not sure at the beginning when my friend explained the job description to me. The way she explained it was in a very honest documented way sort of like she was reading from a script. Hehehe... that kinda got me nervous and honestly, I was not sure I would be able to pull it off. I was not sure if I would be able to perform up to the company’s expectation. That kinda scared me cos I was a bit intimidated and I was unsure of what I might be facing. I was interested, lets say 70% of me wants to just go for it and grab the opportunity and another part of me... the balance 30%... is asking me to just stay here.
I was confused and I was not sure if I should grab this opportunity. Now, I have been comfortably sitting my a$$ off here for almost 6 years and skarang rasa macam liat nak bergerak. I know my job well here and I love it.. Not that I don’t. But sometimes, you just feel like breaking free and exploring new things. I want to try something different and I want to work in an environment that I would be appreciated more. Hm... sad to say, working with people here sometimes can be a bit frustrating. I’m not saying the same situation won’t occur at this new place or elsewhere. There will always be annoying, pretentious, self-centered, arrogant, racist, sarcastic, rude, idiot, stupid, mean ... bla bla bla people anywhere you go, right? Thing is I just love this place and sayang sekali to leave it. Hmmm.. one of the reason why I turned down a few good offers. Like my friend, Ayen said... “You are just too comfortable there”. Sigh! He is right. I am in my comfortable zone here and even though I am not satisfied, not happy and bored... I still want to me here. I don’t want to grow old and retire here.... errr... that would be a nightmare.
Ayen gave me some good advices yesterday and after talking to him, I gained 90% confident then before and I want to grab this opportunity. He made it out clear to me about the possibilities of securing a better future for me and a good opportunity for me. He’s right about another thing, there has been so many times I was taken for granted. All those promises made that were never kept. I was often left disappointed, frustrated and miserably sad for not being appreciated for the things I have done here. But with this job, I see my future brighter out there and now I begin to realize I might not gain any further prospect if I remain here. It’s time to move on and time for a change.
(Big Sigh!) hope things work out well.
But today, I got a few miss calls from her at around 3pm. It was odd indeed for her to be calling me at this time of hour and cannot figure out what could possibly be the reason. I was unable to answer her calls just now as I was in a meeting with the big ‘Cat’. Yup! The same ole’ ‘Big Cat’ who never misses to fly all the way from Subang every single freaking Wednesday just to sit in a meeting with the team here which last maximum pun for about 2 hours. But sish! Who’s complaining right! And the pressure I was in the meeting just now was indescribable. Since my boss was not around as she was off for a holiday she don’t deserve (ehem)... while I on the other hand was stuck here and had to present him the numbers for quarter one closing and man does he have a lot of questions to ask. Feel like just screaming off at him telling him “Go and look for your own numbers you %(#&%@#...” but hey! Who’s complaining... again...
Anywaaay... when I got back to my workplace I got 3 miss calls from my friend. So I called her back and guess what... She asked me if I would be interested to join her organization. :) :)It seem that some girl in her team couldn’t take the pressure and the work load kononyer so she decided to quit. So, they are really short of hand to manage the workload and she asked me.... ME... if I am interested. Muahaha.. Teruja rasa la. Ada jugak orang teringat kat aku and asked me to join their organization. I must be good and hot.. ok! skip the hot part if you think it's not suitable. Sish!!
I was not sure at the beginning when my friend explained the job description to me. The way she explained it was in a very honest documented way sort of like she was reading from a script. Hehehe... that kinda got me nervous and honestly, I was not sure I would be able to pull it off. I was not sure if I would be able to perform up to the company’s expectation. That kinda scared me cos I was a bit intimidated and I was unsure of what I might be facing. I was interested, lets say 70% of me wants to just go for it and grab the opportunity and another part of me... the balance 30%... is asking me to just stay here.
I was confused and I was not sure if I should grab this opportunity. Now, I have been comfortably sitting my a$$ off here for almost 6 years and skarang rasa macam liat nak bergerak. I know my job well here and I love it.. Not that I don’t. But sometimes, you just feel like breaking free and exploring new things. I want to try something different and I want to work in an environment that I would be appreciated more. Hm... sad to say, working with people here sometimes can be a bit frustrating. I’m not saying the same situation won’t occur at this new place or elsewhere. There will always be annoying, pretentious, self-centered, arrogant, racist, sarcastic, rude, idiot, stupid, mean ... bla bla bla people anywhere you go, right? Thing is I just love this place and sayang sekali to leave it. Hmmm.. one of the reason why I turned down a few good offers. Like my friend, Ayen said... “You are just too comfortable there”. Sigh! He is right. I am in my comfortable zone here and even though I am not satisfied, not happy and bored... I still want to me here. I don’t want to grow old and retire here.... errr... that would be a nightmare.
Ayen gave me some good advices yesterday and after talking to him, I gained 90% confident then before and I want to grab this opportunity. He made it out clear to me about the possibilities of securing a better future for me and a good opportunity for me. He’s right about another thing, there has been so many times I was taken for granted. All those promises made that were never kept. I was often left disappointed, frustrated and miserably sad for not being appreciated for the things I have done here. But with this job, I see my future brighter out there and now I begin to realize I might not gain any further prospect if I remain here. It’s time to move on and time for a change.(Big Sigh!) hope things work out well.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Helo 2010
Whoa! It’s been so long since I last wrote in here. Almost one year of silence and here I emerge again. I guess I have no real solid explanation for my absence. I’m just playing lazy and laying low from this cruel hard-ache world. Hehe.. fuh.. Feeling nyer :p
Anyway, next hot story is this coming November 2010, I’m turning... well... 30. Yup! No more “Oh! I am in my ‘late twenties’.” Excuses to give when people ask me “How old are you?” .... can you imagine that, people are so desperately want to know HOW OLD I have been in this world. Every time someone ask me that question, makes me feel like I am some sort of fossilized dinosaur or something. HOW OLD.. Sigh! Turning 30 is kinda scary but at the same time, I must admit I am excited as well.
I left 2009 with a lot of wonderful and some bitter memories. Well, now I am actively updating and keeping in touch with friends in facebook. I met with a lot of them from school and some from my previous workplace. Like yesterday, I added Nimmy in my friend’s list. Nimmy and I used to work together back in Intel. But I was kinda sad when I got a message from her this morning saying “Are you the one who used to work in GDOC?” I was surprised she doesn’t remember me and I thought I was quite close to her back then. It’s been almost 6 years since I met her but we sometimes chat over the phone. And to think I went like “Hi Nimmy... add me add me.. Gosh! I miss you so much... bla bla bla.. ” made it even worse. I thought she would remember me. Man, I had my cute profile picture in my FB what, so WTH right. Sigh! Am I that easy to forget? Have I not left any good impact to these people when I left? I mean, Nimmy and I used to get into a lot of misunderstandings when I newly joined. I don’t really like her much cos she was all mengada-ada and bossy. But in the end, we came to be quite close friends. But I like her as she is a person who doesn’t care about what people have to say about her and she do what she likes only. Well, this clearly shows I need to keep in touch with my friends often. Too much into work, I often neglect my friends.
I’m planning to make a lot if difference in life throughout this year 2010. On my birthday this November, I want to look back and think “Gosh! I’ve done all that and I am happy.” Think of going on traveling, go on a good diet and bring my fatty ass down to a normal size, take up baking classes :p. Got macam-macam to do lah. I just don’t know where and how to start and we are now already in March. Cepat Cepat Cepat...
And how do I do all these and juggle my hectic work at the same time? I just have to find time I guess. Well, nowadays I find time for myself after work and do things I like. After work is my time and I get myself to enjoy it. Go out with friends sometimes for dinner or simply for a coffee. Sometimes I go shopping or just go for a good movie with friends. Like last week Friday, I took the rest of the afternoon off and went for a movie with a friend. Hehe... We went to watch the movie “Valentines Day”. It was a very nice romantic comedy movie and the cast was absolutely fabulous. I had fun and went back home with a smile. Doing all these simple things often makes me happy and satisfying.
And guess what! Last year July, I have finally joined the gym and often go for workout after work. Not showing and signs of improvement though :p probably I didn’t go so often lately.
Work... sigh! What can I tell about my work? It’s still the usual hectic but still manageable.
Well.. I’ll try to update more often from now on. This is my life journal anyway :)
Anyway, next hot story is this coming November 2010, I’m turning... well... 30. Yup! No more “Oh! I am in my ‘late twenties’.” Excuses to give when people ask me “How old are you?” .... can you imagine that, people are so desperately want to know HOW OLD I have been in this world. Every time someone ask me that question, makes me feel like I am some sort of fossilized dinosaur or something. HOW OLD.. Sigh! Turning 30 is kinda scary but at the same time, I must admit I am excited as well.
I left 2009 with a lot of wonderful and some bitter memories. Well, now I am actively updating and keeping in touch with friends in facebook. I met with a lot of them from school and some from my previous workplace. Like yesterday, I added Nimmy in my friend’s list. Nimmy and I used to work together back in Intel. But I was kinda sad when I got a message from her this morning saying “Are you the one who used to work in GDOC?” I was surprised she doesn’t remember me and I thought I was quite close to her back then. It’s been almost 6 years since I met her but we sometimes chat over the phone. And to think I went like “Hi Nimmy... add me add me.. Gosh! I miss you so much... bla bla bla.. ” made it even worse. I thought she would remember me. Man, I had my cute profile picture in my FB what, so WTH right. Sigh! Am I that easy to forget? Have I not left any good impact to these people when I left? I mean, Nimmy and I used to get into a lot of misunderstandings when I newly joined. I don’t really like her much cos she was all mengada-ada and bossy. But in the end, we came to be quite close friends. But I like her as she is a person who doesn’t care about what people have to say about her and she do what she likes only. Well, this clearly shows I need to keep in touch with my friends often. Too much into work, I often neglect my friends.
I’m planning to make a lot if difference in life throughout this year 2010. On my birthday this November, I want to look back and think “Gosh! I’ve done all that and I am happy.” Think of going on traveling, go on a good diet and bring my fatty ass down to a normal size, take up baking classes :p. Got macam-macam to do lah. I just don’t know where and how to start and we are now already in March. Cepat Cepat Cepat...
And how do I do all these and juggle my hectic work at the same time? I just have to find time I guess. Well, nowadays I find time for myself after work and do things I like. After work is my time and I get myself to enjoy it. Go out with friends sometimes for dinner or simply for a coffee. Sometimes I go shopping or just go for a good movie with friends. Like last week Friday, I took the rest of the afternoon off and went for a movie with a friend. Hehe... We went to watch the movie “Valentines Day”. It was a very nice romantic comedy movie and the cast was absolutely fabulous. I had fun and went back home with a smile. Doing all these simple things often makes me happy and satisfying.
And guess what! Last year July, I have finally joined the gym and often go for workout after work. Not showing and signs of improvement though :p probably I didn’t go so often lately.
Work... sigh! What can I tell about my work? It’s still the usual hectic but still manageable.
Well.. I’ll try to update more often from now on. This is my life journal anyway :)
Monday, March 30, 2009
You Raised Me Up
Zaini, Thank you for this song. Thank you for your friendship...
I'm glad to have known you. I'm glad we're still friends.
You Raise Me Up - Josh Gorban
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up... To more than I can be
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up... To more than I can be
There is no life - no life without its hunger
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly
But when you come and I am filled with wonder
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up... To more than I can be
I'm glad to have known you. I'm glad we're still friends.
You Raise Me Up - Josh Gorban
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up... To more than I can be
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up... To more than I can be
There is no life - no life without its hunger
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly
But when you come and I am filled with wonder
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up... To more than I can be
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Are You Going to Finish Strong?
Just wanna share this inspiring video... so touching and so powerful.
Something to remind us about living a life and how nothing is ever perfect in this world. Its how we make the best out of it.
Remember, we learn from what we have experience yesterday, We live your life for today and we hope for the better tomorrow.
Here's a glimpse into the amazing Life of Nick Vujicic... A very inspiring man with a big heart.
Check it out -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqantZJ6WwM
Here's what Nick said...
Along the way, you might fall down... What do you do when you fall down?... You will get back up!
Well, sometimes in Life when you fall down, and you FEEL like you dont have the strength to get back up. "Do you think you have hope?"
Because I tell you, I'm down here.. face down and I have no arms and no legs, It should be impossible for me to get back up.... But it's not.
You see.. I will try 100 times to get up and if I fail 100 times... If I fail and I give up, do you think I'm ever going to get up?.... NO..
But If I fail, I'll try again.. and again.. and again.. but I just want you to know that it's not the end..
IT MATTERS HOW YOU'RE GOING TO FINISH.
ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH STRONG?
And you will find the strength to get back up.... Like This!
Something to remind us about living a life and how nothing is ever perfect in this world. Its how we make the best out of it.
Remember, we learn from what we have experience yesterday, We live your life for today and we hope for the better tomorrow.
Here's a glimpse into the amazing Life of Nick Vujicic... A very inspiring man with a big heart.
Check it out -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqantZJ6WwM
Here's what Nick said...
Along the way, you might fall down... What do you do when you fall down?... You will get back up!
Well, sometimes in Life when you fall down, and you FEEL like you dont have the strength to get back up. "Do you think you have hope?"
Because I tell you, I'm down here.. face down and I have no arms and no legs, It should be impossible for me to get back up.... But it's not.
You see.. I will try 100 times to get up and if I fail 100 times... If I fail and I give up, do you think I'm ever going to get up?.... NO..
But If I fail, I'll try again.. and again.. and again.. but I just want you to know that it's not the end..
IT MATTERS HOW YOU'RE GOING TO FINISH.
ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH STRONG?
And you will find the strength to get back up.... Like This!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Things Work Out
Things Work Out
By Edgar A. Guest
Because it rains when we wish it wouldn't,
Because men do what they often shouldn't,
Because crops fail, and plans go wrong-
Some of us grumble all day long.
But somehow, in spite of the care and doubt,
It seems at last that things work out.
Because we lose where we hoped to gain,
Because we suffer a little pain,
Because we must work when we'd like to play-
Some of us whimper along life's way.
But somehow, as day always follows the night,
Most of our troubles work out all right.
Because we cannot forever smile,
Because we must trudge in the dust awhile,
Because we think that the way is long-
Some of us whimper that life's all wrong.
But somehow we live and our sky grows bright,
And everything seems to work out all right.
So bend to your trouble and meet your care,
For the clouds must break, and the sky grow fair.
Let the rain come down, as it must and will,
But keep on working and hoping still.
For in spite of the grumblers who stand about,
Somehow, it seems, all things work out.
By Edgar A. Guest
Because it rains when we wish it wouldn't,
Because men do what they often shouldn't,
Because crops fail, and plans go wrong-
Some of us grumble all day long.
But somehow, in spite of the care and doubt,
It seems at last that things work out.
Because we lose where we hoped to gain,
Because we suffer a little pain,
Because we must work when we'd like to play-
Some of us whimper along life's way.
But somehow, as day always follows the night,
Most of our troubles work out all right.
Because we cannot forever smile,
Because we must trudge in the dust awhile,
Because we think that the way is long-
Some of us whimper that life's all wrong.
But somehow we live and our sky grows bright,
And everything seems to work out all right.
So bend to your trouble and meet your care,
For the clouds must break, and the sky grow fair.
Let the rain come down, as it must and will,
But keep on working and hoping still.
For in spite of the grumblers who stand about,
Somehow, it seems, all things work out.
Friday, February 06, 2009
What I Think About
I was on my way to work this morning. I dropped off kak Sida after breakfast at Kapitan. I had a lot of things going on in my mind and well, driving to work and driving back home is always the best time to think especially when you are driving alone. What will I think about anyway? Well, I’ll think about home, I’ll think about my family and my friends, I’ll think about that vacation I wanted to go so much. All the wonderful places I wish to visit. I'll think about beautiful things around me. I’ll think about work, I’ll think about that promotion my boss promised me but still have not finalized yet. I’ll think about how I should move forward in this new role, I’ll think about the work pressure I’ll be facing in this new role. Hahaha… then again, I will also think about my future and make wishes for a bright, happy and prosperous life ahead. Life is full of challenges and one should look at these challenges positively and work to make the best out of it.
Sometimes, I’ll think about the things that bothers me, I’ll think about things that annoy me and I’ll usually grumble about it. I’ll think about things that make me sad, and then I will usually think about things that will cheer me up. Hehehe… and often I’ll think about what I love to get myself for this month. Sorta like a treat to myself for well, being me ;) Hehehe… Should I buy myself another perfume or should I get myself that shoe I had my eyes on for months but it would surely put a bullet in my pocket : p Damn those shoes are blardy expensive leh. I’ll also think about getting myself some new clothes cos I think my wardrobe is getting off seasoned. I think all ladies will agree with me on this one eh! LOL. Since I have passion for good food, I’ll even think about where to have lunch, what I should eat, what to cook during this weekend or where to find a good place to eat during weekend. Then again, I will also think about watching my diet and eat healthy food and that I should stop stuffing myself with food. Sigh!
I often think about my future but I hardly think about my past. Because I believe looking into your past only brings sorrow and there’s nothing you can do to undo whatever that has been done. Nevertheless, I will also think about the wonderful memories I’ve had gained in my past and how I had enjoyed every second of it. Even though it lasts for a short time, but it’s the experiences and memories that cherish the most.
I’ll think about my next course of action but then again I’ll end up thinking about what would happen if take up that action. Some actions will leads me to satisfaction and It will make me happy. Sometimes, these actions won’t turn out as what I’ve expected and it will often lead to sorrow and regret. I often think about the people who hurt me, I’ll even think about the people I’ve hurt. And When I think about the people I’ve hurt, I’ll think about him. I’ll think about how I’ve disappointed him. If only we have worked things out. If only we had a better way of communicating with each other. If only we had understood each other better. I’ll think about the decision we agreed on. I’ll think about the decision I have made. Was the decision we made benefits the both of us? Was it the right thing to do at that time? I’ll think about his final words. I’ll think about all the effort he took to work things out between us. Did I disappoint him? Or was he the one who disappointed me? Hmm…
I was listening to Mix.fm this morning and today, I don’t think I think about anything on my way to work :p this morning. I was simply enjoying the songs and singing along and moving my head left and right to the rhythm of the music. I think a few drivers must have spotted me. Probably they must have thought I kena sawan or something cos there was this guy who actually got closed to my car and smiled at me before he speed off. Aiyah… don’t care lah! It’s Friday anyway…
Then, I reached my office and just when I was about to switch off the engine, Mix played this song from ‘Beyonce – If I were a Boy’. Now, I’ve heard this song a few times before but didn’t actually manage to listen to it properly. There was something about that song tune that made me stop and wanted to fully listen to this song. It was very soft and slow and it was deep and full of sorrow. Then came the chorus part… Sigh! I tell you, for the way this song was composed, the music rhythm, Beyonce’s high pitched voice… it was simply beautiful.
Beyonce - If I Were A Boy
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.
[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)
(Chorus)
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
(Chorus)
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy
Sometimes, I’ll think about the things that bothers me, I’ll think about things that annoy me and I’ll usually grumble about it. I’ll think about things that make me sad, and then I will usually think about things that will cheer me up. Hehehe… and often I’ll think about what I love to get myself for this month. Sorta like a treat to myself for well, being me ;) Hehehe… Should I buy myself another perfume or should I get myself that shoe I had my eyes on for months but it would surely put a bullet in my pocket : p Damn those shoes are blardy expensive leh. I’ll also think about getting myself some new clothes cos I think my wardrobe is getting off seasoned. I think all ladies will agree with me on this one eh! LOL. Since I have passion for good food, I’ll even think about where to have lunch, what I should eat, what to cook during this weekend or where to find a good place to eat during weekend. Then again, I will also think about watching my diet and eat healthy food and that I should stop stuffing myself with food. Sigh!
I often think about my future but I hardly think about my past. Because I believe looking into your past only brings sorrow and there’s nothing you can do to undo whatever that has been done. Nevertheless, I will also think about the wonderful memories I’ve had gained in my past and how I had enjoyed every second of it. Even though it lasts for a short time, but it’s the experiences and memories that cherish the most.
I’ll think about my next course of action but then again I’ll end up thinking about what would happen if take up that action. Some actions will leads me to satisfaction and It will make me happy. Sometimes, these actions won’t turn out as what I’ve expected and it will often lead to sorrow and regret. I often think about the people who hurt me, I’ll even think about the people I’ve hurt. And When I think about the people I’ve hurt, I’ll think about him. I’ll think about how I’ve disappointed him. If only we have worked things out. If only we had a better way of communicating with each other. If only we had understood each other better. I’ll think about the decision we agreed on. I’ll think about the decision I have made. Was the decision we made benefits the both of us? Was it the right thing to do at that time? I’ll think about his final words. I’ll think about all the effort he took to work things out between us. Did I disappoint him? Or was he the one who disappointed me? Hmm…
I was listening to Mix.fm this morning and today, I don’t think I think about anything on my way to work :p this morning. I was simply enjoying the songs and singing along and moving my head left and right to the rhythm of the music. I think a few drivers must have spotted me. Probably they must have thought I kena sawan or something cos there was this guy who actually got closed to my car and smiled at me before he speed off. Aiyah… don’t care lah! It’s Friday anyway…
Then, I reached my office and just when I was about to switch off the engine, Mix played this song from ‘Beyonce – If I were a Boy’. Now, I’ve heard this song a few times before but didn’t actually manage to listen to it properly. There was something about that song tune that made me stop and wanted to fully listen to this song. It was very soft and slow and it was deep and full of sorrow. Then came the chorus part… Sigh! I tell you, for the way this song was composed, the music rhythm, Beyonce’s high pitched voice… it was simply beautiful.
Beyonce - If I Were A Boy
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.
[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)
(Chorus)
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
(Chorus)
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Sick ‘O’ me
Kesian me... I am sick. I am still sick and I have been sick since last Saturday. Sigh! I had diarrhea, fever and stomach upset and food looks yuck to me which I consider something totally weird. hehehe. I usually don't turn down on a good delicious food leh. But this time, I really said NO no matter how good it was. Surprised!! I even said no to sushi ok! Sob.. sob... I have no idea what could have caused my diarrhea and stomach ache.
Hm... probably it was the lunch Shikin and I had at Foodloft on Friday cos surprisingly, she is suffering from Diarrhea too. But I suspect it was that ‘Lontong’ Makcik Gayah, my neighbour gave that afternoon. Honestly, I don’t like Lontong cos I think it’s kinda ridiculous to eat nasi impit with something that is NOT peanut gravy. But I tried it that day and it was kinda good. so, err.. I had a few mouth of that good lontong. Just to let you know, Makcik Gayah is a very very old lady, probably in her early 80s. And guess what, she has only one eye. She lost sight of her left eye years ago cos of some optic nerve damage and the doctor had to remove her left eye as it got infected. So now, she uses a glass eye and sometimes, she’ll come over to our house with an empty eye socket. Very creepy wey! Like you see in the horror movies. “Gatai la mata pakai menatang tue! Bior je lah, bukan aku tak nampak!”. Hehehe.. yeah right grandma! sure or not! How you made that Lontong eh?? But poor makcik Gayah. She is such a lovely, sweet and caring lady. She'll always bring a bowl of her lauk or kuih muih if she knows we like it. She look at us like her own grandchildrens at times and loves my mum like her own daughter.
Well, I am feeling much better now but I still have that nausea feeling and stomach upset though. And my body is still aching like crazy. I went to the clinic twice and the doctor said I am dehydrated and that is why I’m having this nausea feeling and that I should drink more water. Right now, I still don’t really have the appetite to eat anything. Even when my mum cooked my favourite, Ayam Goreng Kicap yesterday and as much as I love it, I really didn’t have the mood to eat :( So, I had an orange and a cup of milo for dinner. Don't be surprised ok! I really did. Hm... I have to stuff myself at least with something in order to take my medicines. Even for lunch just now, I ate a few slices of bread only.
Hm.... probably this might turn out to be a good start to start my dieting ek. Hehehe... A friend told me I look like 'bulan mengembang' alreadi! hehehe.
Sigh! Hope I’ll get better soon.
Hm... probably it was the lunch Shikin and I had at Foodloft on Friday cos surprisingly, she is suffering from Diarrhea too. But I suspect it was that ‘Lontong’ Makcik Gayah, my neighbour gave that afternoon. Honestly, I don’t like Lontong cos I think it’s kinda ridiculous to eat nasi impit with something that is NOT peanut gravy. But I tried it that day and it was kinda good. so, err.. I had a few mouth of that good lontong. Just to let you know, Makcik Gayah is a very very old lady, probably in her early 80s. And guess what, she has only one eye. She lost sight of her left eye years ago cos of some optic nerve damage and the doctor had to remove her left eye as it got infected. So now, she uses a glass eye and sometimes, she’ll come over to our house with an empty eye socket. Very creepy wey! Like you see in the horror movies. “Gatai la mata pakai menatang tue! Bior je lah, bukan aku tak nampak!”. Hehehe.. yeah right grandma! sure or not! How you made that Lontong eh?? But poor makcik Gayah. She is such a lovely, sweet and caring lady. She'll always bring a bowl of her lauk or kuih muih if she knows we like it. She look at us like her own grandchildrens at times and loves my mum like her own daughter.
Well, I am feeling much better now but I still have that nausea feeling and stomach upset though. And my body is still aching like crazy. I went to the clinic twice and the doctor said I am dehydrated and that is why I’m having this nausea feeling and that I should drink more water. Right now, I still don’t really have the appetite to eat anything. Even when my mum cooked my favourite, Ayam Goreng Kicap yesterday and as much as I love it, I really didn’t have the mood to eat :( So, I had an orange and a cup of milo for dinner. Don't be surprised ok! I really did. Hm... I have to stuff myself at least with something in order to take my medicines. Even for lunch just now, I ate a few slices of bread only.
Hm.... probably this might turn out to be a good start to start my dieting ek. Hehehe... A friend told me I look like 'bulan mengembang' alreadi! hehehe.
Sigh! Hope I’ll get better soon.
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