Shi*t.. Shi*t.. Shi*t..
How can I forget to pay up my credit card bill huh?? For 2 months plak tu. WTF!
Sigh! And worse of all.. I have been getting all these reminders via sms and also phone calls, and I totally ignored it. Thinking that I can put a delay to it for a while.. Yeah right!! I still missed to make the payment until BAAMM.. I got slapped with the 2nd reminder asking me to settle the minimum payment before SHI*T.. my name get raised in the Bank Negara record.. That’s serious stuff wey!
Damn it! I have to get my financial priorities straight. Things have been getting out of hands these past couple of months. It’s like what I earn is not what I get. Everything’s going for something.. Somewhere.. And before you know it... I’m totally broke! Feel like crying out loud most of the time. Sigh! I hate credit cards. Trust me when you apply for them, they promise all these wonderful things to you, it’s all a game play I say. Part of the scam to attract you and to lure you in and by the time you know it. You might have over spent above your income limit, and then you’ll go and buy things you don’t really need and wonder why you bought it at the first place. “Why pay cash when you can pay with your credit card” they say. Sish! The sucking part of the truth reality is, nothing is free when you purchase with your credit card. There is reward for the points you spent on. But these points is nothing to shout about compared to the $$ you will have pay at the end of the month when you’re slapped with the bill. Sigggggghhhh!
Can I put the blame totally on the inauspicious year of 2010? It’s an even number year. I remember facing some sorta similar problem back in 2008. See, I don’t have this luck with even number years. Good things happen to me on odd years.
Hmm.. But I wouldn’t say 2010 is all that bad. I have a good number of things that happened this year. And some of the good things involve me in it. Good things do happen and bad things happen occasionally. Well, it’s how you manage your problems that matters.
I need to settle my card debts by end of this week. Sigh! Hope these kinda things don’t happen again.
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Monday, November 15, 2010
Friday, February 06, 2009
What I Think About
I was on my way to work this morning. I dropped off kak Sida after breakfast at Kapitan. I had a lot of things going on in my mind and well, driving to work and driving back home is always the best time to think especially when you are driving alone. What will I think about anyway? Well, I’ll think about home, I’ll think about my family and my friends, I’ll think about that vacation I wanted to go so much. All the wonderful places I wish to visit. I'll think about beautiful things around me. I’ll think about work, I’ll think about that promotion my boss promised me but still have not finalized yet. I’ll think about how I should move forward in this new role, I’ll think about the work pressure I’ll be facing in this new role. Hahaha… then again, I will also think about my future and make wishes for a bright, happy and prosperous life ahead. Life is full of challenges and one should look at these challenges positively and work to make the best out of it.
Sometimes, I’ll think about the things that bothers me, I’ll think about things that annoy me and I’ll usually grumble about it. I’ll think about things that make me sad, and then I will usually think about things that will cheer me up. Hehehe… and often I’ll think about what I love to get myself for this month. Sorta like a treat to myself for well, being me ;) Hehehe… Should I buy myself another perfume or should I get myself that shoe I had my eyes on for months but it would surely put a bullet in my pocket : p Damn those shoes are blardy expensive leh. I’ll also think about getting myself some new clothes cos I think my wardrobe is getting off seasoned. I think all ladies will agree with me on this one eh! LOL. Since I have passion for good food, I’ll even think about where to have lunch, what I should eat, what to cook during this weekend or where to find a good place to eat during weekend. Then again, I will also think about watching my diet and eat healthy food and that I should stop stuffing myself with food. Sigh!
I often think about my future but I hardly think about my past. Because I believe looking into your past only brings sorrow and there’s nothing you can do to undo whatever that has been done. Nevertheless, I will also think about the wonderful memories I’ve had gained in my past and how I had enjoyed every second of it. Even though it lasts for a short time, but it’s the experiences and memories that cherish the most.
I’ll think about my next course of action but then again I’ll end up thinking about what would happen if take up that action. Some actions will leads me to satisfaction and It will make me happy. Sometimes, these actions won’t turn out as what I’ve expected and it will often lead to sorrow and regret. I often think about the people who hurt me, I’ll even think about the people I’ve hurt. And When I think about the people I’ve hurt, I’ll think about him. I’ll think about how I’ve disappointed him. If only we have worked things out. If only we had a better way of communicating with each other. If only we had understood each other better. I’ll think about the decision we agreed on. I’ll think about the decision I have made. Was the decision we made benefits the both of us? Was it the right thing to do at that time? I’ll think about his final words. I’ll think about all the effort he took to work things out between us. Did I disappoint him? Or was he the one who disappointed me? Hmm…
I was listening to Mix.fm this morning and today, I don’t think I think about anything on my way to work :p this morning. I was simply enjoying the songs and singing along and moving my head left and right to the rhythm of the music. I think a few drivers must have spotted me. Probably they must have thought I kena sawan or something cos there was this guy who actually got closed to my car and smiled at me before he speed off. Aiyah… don’t care lah! It’s Friday anyway…
Then, I reached my office and just when I was about to switch off the engine, Mix played this song from ‘Beyonce – If I were a Boy’. Now, I’ve heard this song a few times before but didn’t actually manage to listen to it properly. There was something about that song tune that made me stop and wanted to fully listen to this song. It was very soft and slow and it was deep and full of sorrow. Then came the chorus part… Sigh! I tell you, for the way this song was composed, the music rhythm, Beyonce’s high pitched voice… it was simply beautiful.
Beyonce - If I Were A Boy
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.
[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)
(Chorus)
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
(Chorus)
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy
Sometimes, I’ll think about the things that bothers me, I’ll think about things that annoy me and I’ll usually grumble about it. I’ll think about things that make me sad, and then I will usually think about things that will cheer me up. Hehehe… and often I’ll think about what I love to get myself for this month. Sorta like a treat to myself for well, being me ;) Hehehe… Should I buy myself another perfume or should I get myself that shoe I had my eyes on for months but it would surely put a bullet in my pocket : p Damn those shoes are blardy expensive leh. I’ll also think about getting myself some new clothes cos I think my wardrobe is getting off seasoned. I think all ladies will agree with me on this one eh! LOL. Since I have passion for good food, I’ll even think about where to have lunch, what I should eat, what to cook during this weekend or where to find a good place to eat during weekend. Then again, I will also think about watching my diet and eat healthy food and that I should stop stuffing myself with food. Sigh!
I often think about my future but I hardly think about my past. Because I believe looking into your past only brings sorrow and there’s nothing you can do to undo whatever that has been done. Nevertheless, I will also think about the wonderful memories I’ve had gained in my past and how I had enjoyed every second of it. Even though it lasts for a short time, but it’s the experiences and memories that cherish the most.
I’ll think about my next course of action but then again I’ll end up thinking about what would happen if take up that action. Some actions will leads me to satisfaction and It will make me happy. Sometimes, these actions won’t turn out as what I’ve expected and it will often lead to sorrow and regret. I often think about the people who hurt me, I’ll even think about the people I’ve hurt. And When I think about the people I’ve hurt, I’ll think about him. I’ll think about how I’ve disappointed him. If only we have worked things out. If only we had a better way of communicating with each other. If only we had understood each other better. I’ll think about the decision we agreed on. I’ll think about the decision I have made. Was the decision we made benefits the both of us? Was it the right thing to do at that time? I’ll think about his final words. I’ll think about all the effort he took to work things out between us. Did I disappoint him? Or was he the one who disappointed me? Hmm…
I was listening to Mix.fm this morning and today, I don’t think I think about anything on my way to work :p this morning. I was simply enjoying the songs and singing along and moving my head left and right to the rhythm of the music. I think a few drivers must have spotted me. Probably they must have thought I kena sawan or something cos there was this guy who actually got closed to my car and smiled at me before he speed off. Aiyah… don’t care lah! It’s Friday anyway…
Then, I reached my office and just when I was about to switch off the engine, Mix played this song from ‘Beyonce – If I were a Boy’. Now, I’ve heard this song a few times before but didn’t actually manage to listen to it properly. There was something about that song tune that made me stop and wanted to fully listen to this song. It was very soft and slow and it was deep and full of sorrow. Then came the chorus part… Sigh! I tell you, for the way this song was composed, the music rhythm, Beyonce’s high pitched voice… it was simply beautiful.
Beyonce - If I Were A Boy
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.
[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)
(Chorus)
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
(Chorus)
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Sick ‘O’ me
Kesian me... I am sick. I am still sick and I have been sick since last Saturday. Sigh! I had diarrhea, fever and stomach upset and food looks yuck to me which I consider something totally weird. hehehe. I usually don't turn down on a good delicious food leh. But this time, I really said NO no matter how good it was. Surprised!! I even said no to sushi ok! Sob.. sob... I have no idea what could have caused my diarrhea and stomach ache.
Hm... probably it was the lunch Shikin and I had at Foodloft on Friday cos surprisingly, she is suffering from Diarrhea too. But I suspect it was that ‘Lontong’ Makcik Gayah, my neighbour gave that afternoon. Honestly, I don’t like Lontong cos I think it’s kinda ridiculous to eat nasi impit with something that is NOT peanut gravy. But I tried it that day and it was kinda good. so, err.. I had a few mouth of that good lontong. Just to let you know, Makcik Gayah is a very very old lady, probably in her early 80s. And guess what, she has only one eye. She lost sight of her left eye years ago cos of some optic nerve damage and the doctor had to remove her left eye as it got infected. So now, she uses a glass eye and sometimes, she’ll come over to our house with an empty eye socket. Very creepy wey! Like you see in the horror movies. “Gatai la mata pakai menatang tue! Bior je lah, bukan aku tak nampak!”. Hehehe.. yeah right grandma! sure or not! How you made that Lontong eh?? But poor makcik Gayah. She is such a lovely, sweet and caring lady. She'll always bring a bowl of her lauk or kuih muih if she knows we like it. She look at us like her own grandchildrens at times and loves my mum like her own daughter.
Well, I am feeling much better now but I still have that nausea feeling and stomach upset though. And my body is still aching like crazy. I went to the clinic twice and the doctor said I am dehydrated and that is why I’m having this nausea feeling and that I should drink more water. Right now, I still don’t really have the appetite to eat anything. Even when my mum cooked my favourite, Ayam Goreng Kicap yesterday and as much as I love it, I really didn’t have the mood to eat :( So, I had an orange and a cup of milo for dinner. Don't be surprised ok! I really did. Hm... I have to stuff myself at least with something in order to take my medicines. Even for lunch just now, I ate a few slices of bread only.
Hm.... probably this might turn out to be a good start to start my dieting ek. Hehehe... A friend told me I look like 'bulan mengembang' alreadi! hehehe.
Sigh! Hope I’ll get better soon.
Hm... probably it was the lunch Shikin and I had at Foodloft on Friday cos surprisingly, she is suffering from Diarrhea too. But I suspect it was that ‘Lontong’ Makcik Gayah, my neighbour gave that afternoon. Honestly, I don’t like Lontong cos I think it’s kinda ridiculous to eat nasi impit with something that is NOT peanut gravy. But I tried it that day and it was kinda good. so, err.. I had a few mouth of that good lontong. Just to let you know, Makcik Gayah is a very very old lady, probably in her early 80s. And guess what, she has only one eye. She lost sight of her left eye years ago cos of some optic nerve damage and the doctor had to remove her left eye as it got infected. So now, she uses a glass eye and sometimes, she’ll come over to our house with an empty eye socket. Very creepy wey! Like you see in the horror movies. “Gatai la mata pakai menatang tue! Bior je lah, bukan aku tak nampak!”. Hehehe.. yeah right grandma! sure or not! How you made that Lontong eh?? But poor makcik Gayah. She is such a lovely, sweet and caring lady. She'll always bring a bowl of her lauk or kuih muih if she knows we like it. She look at us like her own grandchildrens at times and loves my mum like her own daughter.
Well, I am feeling much better now but I still have that nausea feeling and stomach upset though. And my body is still aching like crazy. I went to the clinic twice and the doctor said I am dehydrated and that is why I’m having this nausea feeling and that I should drink more water. Right now, I still don’t really have the appetite to eat anything. Even when my mum cooked my favourite, Ayam Goreng Kicap yesterday and as much as I love it, I really didn’t have the mood to eat :( So, I had an orange and a cup of milo for dinner. Don't be surprised ok! I really did. Hm... I have to stuff myself at least with something in order to take my medicines. Even for lunch just now, I ate a few slices of bread only.
Hm.... probably this might turn out to be a good start to start my dieting ek. Hehehe... A friend told me I look like 'bulan mengembang' alreadi! hehehe.
Sigh! Hope I’ll get better soon.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Chronicles of me
I know I have been silent for awhile now. It has been more then a month since my last update ya. Hm... Work kinda got in the way, especially during the month of December 2008.
Sayonara 2008
What can I say about 2008? Well, one thing is sure that I’m glad it’s gone. Well, hate to admit but it was quite an unfortunate year for me. I don’t mean to sound negative lah, but honestly, it kinda sucked. I think I don’t have ‘ong’ for year that ends with the no. ‘8’ kot? Gosh! I still remember 1998! Damn it! It was the most awful and lousiest year of my life. It was one of those years that you just wish to put behind you and not think about it anymore. Well, 2008 was not that bad though. There are some sweet and wonderful memories I have gained. What ever it is, 2008 is gone now and I am with open arms welcoming 2 0 0 9. I am looking forward to make the best out of 2009 pulak. It’s all about turning into a new leaf babe! And I am all out for it. Hehehe... I guess it’s how you make the best out of things you wish and desire. In the end, it doesn’t depend on what luck the year brings you but its more to how you make the best out of it. It’s all in you. Motive yourself to achieve greatest added value and you will be happy. Betul tak? Whoa... Aku bersemangat nie!
I have figured out a few New Year resolution for 2009. My resolution to ‘Be more focused and stay positive’ still remains. (psst.. one of them is to work on reducing my fat ass and ‘poofiness’. And blardly you Jay, poofy means fat you dongkey. And all these while I thought you said it to make me sound like I’m cute. @#%&$... Blardy fish you Jay. Poofy pun I comel ok :p
Career
December was quite a hectic month for me. It was the year end closing and everyone went nuts and koo-koo in chasing and trying to close as much sales order as possible. Hey! It’s never easy being in the sales team for a large company. And especially when it comes to year end closing, I think people kinda hate U. Hehehe… Especially folks I work with from my main office. There will be a lot of chasing, order loading, delivering, checking ETA, monitoring shipment, warehouse stock count, billing, invoicing, capturing rev and GP, calling up customers, push JCF signing, push delivery, push invoice, push engineers, push customers, push your boss out the window... Wait! Is that in my job scope? oops! hehehe... But I tell you though, I have considered it few times ;) hahaha... Sneaky Devil!
But what ever the situation maybe, I would say working here is one of the best thing that has ever happened to me in my career path. It is all in good fun and it has been quite a wonderful experience working here. Sure at times, it can be stressful and you will be disappointed and frustrated, especially now that I am working under a new (yet another lady boss), life can sometimes be very very very, I quote again “V E R Y’ stressful. People are out there man to test your patience and how long you can put up with them. Working with brainless people is never an easy job. It takes lots of endurance skills (rolling eyes... hehe). But what ever it is, in the end you will always end up learning something new and gain more knowledge. Hehehe.. I remember once when we had this event going on, one of our customer called my Sales Rep a ‘loan shark’ cos she kept calling him and trying to persuade him to attend our events. Hihi... He did show up cos he said he admired her determination. Hahaha… we all had a good laugh out of it.
~ Ehm... I really didn't want to post this picture, but I need to show you how stressful I am. Sigh!
Me and My Family
Kak Ton will be back this Feb 10. Gosh! I miss her so much. Last time when she’s around, we hardly meet or even talk on the phone. Sometimes when she comes over to the house, we will share a light chat and after awhile, she will continue on chatting with mum and I will be busy doing something else or watching TV. But nowadays when she calls, I feel like talking to her for hours and look at her all the time through the webcam. The other day when she called, I was on the phone with her for so long not realizing that it’s a long distance call, until we started talking about makcik sebelah rumah some more... Hehe :p
So, I am so looking forward for you to be back home soon sis. Hehehe.. do remember to bring some goodies :p ya. Not that I mengharap lah, but If got something-something then sure syiok lor. aiyo... hehe. And we have made plans for our sister’s get together after you’re back. It not the same without you around now. Boring sangat.
About me! I am now officially and happily single... again! I’m probably too much for him to handle kot :p hehehe. Well, I’m sure my Mr. Right is out there somewhere. I just have to pray hard and hope the best for me. I just hope I will find someone who can understand and appreciate me for who I am. Managing a cracked relationship is just too hard to handle man.
My sweet lovely nephew Farhan turned 3 last week. Gosh! He’s a little fella with a very witty mouth.. very cute and adorable fella. He's more of the playful, suka cakap banyak person while the elder brother, Naveer is the more quite and serious one. It's always fun to have them around. You can sit and listen to them for hours. Gosh! being around them will take any pain away. Here’s some pictures of my heroes, Naveer & Farhan.. aren't they cute!!
Vacation
Another family vacation, and this time we head south to Cameron Highlands. The cool breeze and the lush green surroundings were so inviting and I automatically felt in love with it. Who can ever resist being in such place. I wanna let the pictures I took do all the talking cos I really took alot of photos :p
I would love to go back there someday. Hm… Probably soon...
Well, that’s all for now. Will try to write soon.
Sayonara 2008
What can I say about 2008? Well, one thing is sure that I’m glad it’s gone. Well, hate to admit but it was quite an unfortunate year for me. I don’t mean to sound negative lah, but honestly, it kinda sucked. I think I don’t have ‘ong’ for year that ends with the no. ‘8’ kot? Gosh! I still remember 1998! Damn it! It was the most awful and lousiest year of my life. It was one of those years that you just wish to put behind you and not think about it anymore. Well, 2008 was not that bad though. There are some sweet and wonderful memories I have gained. What ever it is, 2008 is gone now and I am with open arms welcoming 2 0 0 9. I am looking forward to make the best out of 2009 pulak. It’s all about turning into a new leaf babe! And I am all out for it. Hehehe... I guess it’s how you make the best out of things you wish and desire. In the end, it doesn’t depend on what luck the year brings you but its more to how you make the best out of it. It’s all in you. Motive yourself to achieve greatest added value and you will be happy. Betul tak? Whoa... Aku bersemangat nie!
I have figured out a few New Year resolution for 2009. My resolution to ‘Be more focused and stay positive’ still remains. (psst.. one of them is to work on reducing my fat ass and ‘poofiness’. And blardly you Jay, poofy means fat you dongkey. And all these while I thought you said it to make me sound like I’m cute. @#%&$... Blardy fish you Jay. Poofy pun I comel ok :p
Career
December was quite a hectic month for me. It was the year end closing and everyone went nuts and koo-koo in chasing and trying to close as much sales order as possible. Hey! It’s never easy being in the sales team for a large company. And especially when it comes to year end closing, I think people kinda hate U. Hehehe… Especially folks I work with from my main office. There will be a lot of chasing, order loading, delivering, checking ETA, monitoring shipment, warehouse stock count, billing, invoicing, capturing rev and GP, calling up customers, push JCF signing, push delivery, push invoice, push engineers, push customers, push your boss out the window... Wait! Is that in my job scope? oops! hehehe... But I tell you though, I have considered it few times ;) hahaha... Sneaky Devil!
But what ever the situation maybe, I would say working here is one of the best thing that has ever happened to me in my career path. It is all in good fun and it has been quite a wonderful experience working here. Sure at times, it can be stressful and you will be disappointed and frustrated, especially now that I am working under a new (yet another lady boss), life can sometimes be very very very, I quote again “V E R Y’ stressful. People are out there man to test your patience and how long you can put up with them. Working with brainless people is never an easy job. It takes lots of endurance skills (rolling eyes... hehe). But what ever it is, in the end you will always end up learning something new and gain more knowledge. Hehehe.. I remember once when we had this event going on, one of our customer called my Sales Rep a ‘loan shark’ cos she kept calling him and trying to persuade him to attend our events. Hihi... He did show up cos he said he admired her determination. Hahaha… we all had a good laugh out of it.
~ Ehm... I really didn't want to post this picture, but I need to show you how stressful I am. Sigh!
Me and My Family
Kak Ton will be back this Feb 10. Gosh! I miss her so much. Last time when she’s around, we hardly meet or even talk on the phone. Sometimes when she comes over to the house, we will share a light chat and after awhile, she will continue on chatting with mum and I will be busy doing something else or watching TV. But nowadays when she calls, I feel like talking to her for hours and look at her all the time through the webcam. The other day when she called, I was on the phone with her for so long not realizing that it’s a long distance call, until we started talking about makcik sebelah rumah some more... Hehe :p
So, I am so looking forward for you to be back home soon sis. Hehehe.. do remember to bring some goodies :p ya. Not that I mengharap lah, but If got something-something then sure syiok lor. aiyo... hehe. And we have made plans for our sister’s get together after you’re back. It not the same without you around now. Boring sangat.
About me! I am now officially and happily single... again! I’m probably too much for him to handle kot :p hehehe. Well, I’m sure my Mr. Right is out there somewhere. I just have to pray hard and hope the best for me. I just hope I will find someone who can understand and appreciate me for who I am. Managing a cracked relationship is just too hard to handle man.
My sweet lovely nephew Farhan turned 3 last week. Gosh! He’s a little fella with a very witty mouth.. very cute and adorable fella. He's more of the playful, suka cakap banyak person while the elder brother, Naveer is the more quite and serious one. It's always fun to have them around. You can sit and listen to them for hours. Gosh! being around them will take any pain away. Here’s some pictures of my heroes, Naveer & Farhan.. aren't they cute!!
Vacation
Another family vacation, and this time we head south to Cameron Highlands. The cool breeze and the lush green surroundings were so inviting and I automatically felt in love with it. Who can ever resist being in such place. I wanna let the pictures I took do all the talking cos I really took alot of photos :p
I would love to go back there someday. Hm… Probably soon...
Well, that’s all for now. Will try to write soon.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Being in a Relationship
"It must have been LOVE"... gosh! this songs is really giving me the blues. sigh!
Life can sometime takes funny but dreadful turns and changes. It sucks when sad things happen out of expectation.
Just when you think your life is finally looking up. Just when you have hope that love will finally open its door again… That’s when sometimes, you end up taking a sudden turn and then, you keep thinking about it over and over again hoping it could have turn out otherwise.
Regret… It’s that the word I am looking for right now? I dunno, I’m confused and I have to admit it, I am feeling quite sad when I think about it.
This year raya has been quite a sad occasion for me. There has been some misunderstanding in my relationship and to tell you the truth, I have no idea how it all started. It just happened. Though I know what has caused it but I just don’t understand why he is making it so complicated. We are still in the early stage of a relationship, getting to know and finding out more about each other. Sadly, till now, I really don’t know much about him. But he just wants to rush into things and always end up making all the wrong decision and saying all the wrong things. He refuses to accept the reality of what might happen in our future together and worse still, when I wanted to talk to him about it… he just shuts me off and the way he put it is like I am making a big deal out of it. It concerns our future together, shouldn’t I be worried?
Gosh! Being in a relationship can be so confusing and frustrating at times.
Why is this happening to me?
Life can sometime takes funny but dreadful turns and changes. It sucks when sad things happen out of expectation.
Just when you think your life is finally looking up. Just when you have hope that love will finally open its door again… That’s when sometimes, you end up taking a sudden turn and then, you keep thinking about it over and over again hoping it could have turn out otherwise.
Regret… It’s that the word I am looking for right now? I dunno, I’m confused and I have to admit it, I am feeling quite sad when I think about it.
This year raya has been quite a sad occasion for me. There has been some misunderstanding in my relationship and to tell you the truth, I have no idea how it all started. It just happened. Though I know what has caused it but I just don’t understand why he is making it so complicated. We are still in the early stage of a relationship, getting to know and finding out more about each other. Sadly, till now, I really don’t know much about him. But he just wants to rush into things and always end up making all the wrong decision and saying all the wrong things. He refuses to accept the reality of what might happen in our future together and worse still, when I wanted to talk to him about it… he just shuts me off and the way he put it is like I am making a big deal out of it. It concerns our future together, shouldn’t I be worried?
Gosh! Being in a relationship can be so confusing and frustrating at times.
Why is this happening to me?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sweet Changes
I am at the midst of go through a few changes in my life right now and sometimes, I doubt if I am doing the right thing or am I making a wise decision. It’s tough being in this situation and I wonder how some people manage to pull it through and act as if nothing seems wrong and everything is just so perfect. I have been hurt quite a few times before and believe me, some reasons are better left unsaid. Well, now when the reality is finally trying to kick in... feel scared and feel like backing off. Probably I am used to being alone all this while and now that I am experiencing a whole new change, I’m worried, I get scared and I get tensed up. All sorts of question and thoughts running through my head like annoying mosquitoes buzzing tak habis and sometimes it leaves me with sleepless night.
There’s a new man in my life now and I do appreciate the time I get to spend with him. He is a wonderful person… always has and I hope he always will be. Well, actually I have known him about a year ago. There were some misunderstanding between us and things didn’t work out well back then. We took a firm decision and went our separate ways. A few months ago, he walked back into my life just when I needed a shoulder to cry on, he came in and actually caught me in time... comfort me as a changed person and I can still feel the love I felt before. Only this time, it was a lot stronger. I can feel his love and caring and I do care for him just as much as he cares for me. I enjoy our conversation and sometime I do feel lonely when I didn’t receive any calls from him. Still, there are a lot of changes I am expecting in him. Sometimes, it makes me worry and I feel that I should be taking things slowly.
I told a friend yesterday about how I felt and the changes I want to see in him, and she said one thing that give me a kind a good slap. “Are you COMPARING HIM with someone? Cos if you are, you can never stop commenting about him …” Comparing him with someone??? Who can I comparing him to? I kept thinking about what she said and at first I was abit upset with her. Then I realised "am I just lying to myself cos I think maybe she is right" Sigh!!!! Well, one thing is for sure, I would not make the same mistake as I've made before and I do really want this relationship to work out between us. I do pray each day that he will show me the love I need and I will love him just as equally.
“Give him sometime to change. You can’t change a person completely in just a short period. Take it easy… He will change, you’ll see. Don’t be so paranoid and too picky” so they say. And I am just going to do that. Building a relationship takes time and well.. so far, I am thankful for this sweet change I am experiencing. And I do hope that things will work out between us. Please pray for me.
There’s a new man in my life now and I do appreciate the time I get to spend with him. He is a wonderful person… always has and I hope he always will be. Well, actually I have known him about a year ago. There were some misunderstanding between us and things didn’t work out well back then. We took a firm decision and went our separate ways. A few months ago, he walked back into my life just when I needed a shoulder to cry on, he came in and actually caught me in time... comfort me as a changed person and I can still feel the love I felt before. Only this time, it was a lot stronger. I can feel his love and caring and I do care for him just as much as he cares for me. I enjoy our conversation and sometime I do feel lonely when I didn’t receive any calls from him. Still, there are a lot of changes I am expecting in him. Sometimes, it makes me worry and I feel that I should be taking things slowly.
I told a friend yesterday about how I felt and the changes I want to see in him, and she said one thing that give me a kind a good slap. “Are you COMPARING HIM with someone? Cos if you are, you can never stop commenting about him …” Comparing him with someone??? Who can I comparing him to? I kept thinking about what she said and at first I was abit upset with her. Then I realised "am I just lying to myself cos I think maybe she is right" Sigh!!!! Well, one thing is for sure, I would not make the same mistake as I've made before and I do really want this relationship to work out between us. I do pray each day that he will show me the love I need and I will love him just as equally.
“Give him sometime to change. You can’t change a person completely in just a short period. Take it easy… He will change, you’ll see. Don’t be so paranoid and too picky” so they say. And I am just going to do that. Building a relationship takes time and well.. so far, I am thankful for this sweet change I am experiencing. And I do hope that things will work out between us. Please pray for me.
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