What I Think About

I was on my way to work this morning. I dropped off kak Sida after breakfast at Kapitan. I had a lot of things going on in my mind and well, driving to work and driving back home is always the best time to think especially when you are driving alone. What will I think about anyway? Well, I’ll think about home, I’ll think about my family and my friends, I’ll think about that vacation I wanted to go so much. All the wonderful places I wish to visit. I'll think about beautiful things around me. I’ll think about work, I’ll think about that promotion my boss promised me but still have not finalized yet. I’ll think about how I should move forward in this new role, I’ll think about the work pressure I’ll be facing in this new role. Hahaha… then again, I will also think about my future and make wishes for a bright, happy and prosperous life ahead. Life is full of challenges and one should look at these challenges positively and work to make the best out of it.

Sometimes, I’ll think about the things that bothers me, I’ll think about things that annoy me and I’ll usually grumble about it. I’ll think about things that make me sad, and then I will usually think about things that will cheer me up. Hehehe… and often I’ll think about what I love to get myself for this month. Sorta like a treat to myself for well, being me ;) Hehehe… Should I buy myself another perfume or should I get myself that shoe I had my eyes on for months but it would surely put a bullet in my pocket : p Damn those shoes are blardy expensive leh. I’ll also think about getting myself some new clothes cos I think my wardrobe is getting off seasoned. I think all ladies will agree with me on this one eh! LOL. Since I have passion for good food, I’ll even think about where to have lunch, what I should eat, what to cook during this weekend or where to find a good place to eat during weekend. Then again, I will also think about watching my diet and eat healthy food and that I should stop stuffing myself with food. Sigh!


I often think about my future but I hardly think about my past. Because I believe looking into your past only brings sorrow and there’s nothing you can do to undo whatever that has been done. Nevertheless, I will also think about the wonderful memories I’ve had gained in my past and how I had enjoyed every second of it. Even though it lasts for a short time, but it’s the experiences and memories that cherish the most.

I’ll think about my next course of action but then again I’ll end up thinking about what would happen if take up that action. Some actions will leads me to satisfaction and It will make me happy. Sometimes, these actions won’t turn out as what I’ve expected and it will often lead to sorrow and regret. I often think about the people who hurt me, I’ll even think about the people I’ve hurt. And When I think about the people I’ve hurt, I’ll think about him. I’ll think about how I’ve disappointed him. If only we have worked things out. If only we had a better way of communicating with each other. If only we had understood each other better. I’ll think about the decision we agreed on. I’ll think about the decision I have made. Was the decision we made benefits the both of us? Was it the right thing to do at that time? I’ll think about his final words. I’ll think about all the effort he took to work things out between us. Did I disappoint him? Or was he the one who disappointed me? Hmm…

I was listening to Mix.fm this morning and today, I don’t think I think about anything on my way to work :p this morning. I was simply enjoying the songs and singing along and moving my head left and right to the rhythm of the music. I think a few drivers must have spotted me. Probably they must have thought I kena sawan or something cos there was this guy who actually got closed to my car and smiled at me before he speed off. Aiyah… don’t care lah! It’s Friday anyway…

Then, I reached my office and just when I was about to switch off the engine, Mix played this song from ‘Beyonce – If I were a Boy’. Now, I’ve heard this song a few times before but didn’t actually manage to listen to it properly. There was something about that song tune that made me stop and wanted to fully listen to this song. It was very soft and slow and it was deep and full of sorrow. Then came the chorus part… Sigh! I tell you, for the way this song was composed, the music rhythm, Beyonce’s high pitched voice… it was simply beautiful.


Beyonce - If I Were A Boy

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

(Chorus)

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

(Chorus)
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy