Sweet Changes

I am at the midst of go through a few changes in my life right now and sometimes, I doubt if I am doing the right thing or am I making a wise decision. It’s tough being in this situation and I wonder how some people manage to pull it through and act as if nothing seems wrong and everything is just so perfect. I have been hurt quite a few times before and believe me, some reasons are better left unsaid. Well, now when the reality is finally trying to kick in... feel scared and feel like backing off. Probably I am used to being alone all this while and now that I am experiencing a whole new change, I’m worried, I get scared and I get tensed up. All sorts of question and thoughts running through my head like annoying mosquitoes buzzing tak habis and sometimes it leaves me with sleepless night.

There’s a new man in my life now and I do appreciate the time I get to spend with him. He is a wonderful person… always has and I hope he always will be. Well, actually I have known him about a year ago. There were some misunderstanding between us and things didn’t work out well back then. We took a firm decision and went our separate ways. A few months ago, he walked back into my life just when I needed a shoulder to cry on, he came in and actually caught me in time... comfort me as a changed person and I can still feel the love I felt before. Only this time, it was a lot stronger. I can feel his love and caring and I do care for him just as much as he cares for me. I enjoy our conversation and sometime I do feel lonely when I didn’t receive any calls from him. Still, there are a lot of changes I am expecting in him. Sometimes, it makes me worry and I feel that I should be taking things slowly.

I told a friend yesterday about how I felt and the changes I want to see in him, and she said one thing that give me a kind a good slap. “Are you COMPARING HIM with someone? Cos if you are, you can never stop commenting about him …” Comparing him with someone??? Who can I comparing him to? I kept thinking about what she said and at first I was abit upset with her. Then I realised "am I just lying to myself cos I think maybe she is right" Sigh!!!! Well, one thing is for sure, I would not make the same mistake as I've made before and I do really want this relationship to work out between us. I do pray each day that he will show me the love I need and I will love him just as equally.

“Give him sometime to change. You can’t change a person completely in just a short period. Take it easy… He will change, you’ll see. Don’t be so paranoid and too picky” so they say. And I am just going to do that. Building a relationship takes time and well.. so far, I am thankful for this sweet change I am experiencing. And I do hope that things will work out between us. Please pray for me.