Dreadful Days

Hey! I can log in from home alreadi. Yeahh!!yup! Dah pasang streamyx kat rumah :)

Sigh! It has been quite lonely and dreadful this past few days. I was having high fever and cough since last week and the fever came on and off. But it got worse during the weekend. I was in a very pitiful state… my face was like a bloated dead fish, my body was so aching felt like a truck just ran over me, my head was pounding like drums, my eyes was so burning, felt like I was looking directly at the sun and and.. argh! It was just awful la… last Friday, I when to the clinic after work. The clinic had a sign at the enterance that says it’s open from 6 – 9pm. I was there at 6.30am and surprisingly, the doctor was still not in. Shit situation, this is not my first experience at this at this clinic. Bila ada orang, baru la budak kat klinik tue sibok nak call doctor suruh mai lekas and it’s always the same excuses. Why they bother to put up that sign if they don’t practice the time. Dah la kepala aku macam nak meletup keluaq and to make the situation worse, a nearby chinese opera theatre was starting to playing the Chinese opera show. Fuhhh! Cubaan...

The dong doctor came in exactly at 6.50pm. She got the nerve to give me her sheepish smile and said “selalunya tak de orang nanti… masuk la yeee”. Well, after the unfortunate visit to the doctor, I went home, took a cold shower just like the doctor advised has a few slice of bread with kaya, took my medicine and went to bed early. Surprisingly, I woke up the next morning with a terrible headache and my fever got much worse then before. Damn you doctor!

That Saturday afternoon, dad took me to another clinic. Dr Lim was a kind gentleman and he spoke to me as if I was 5 years old. He was so sweet and so caring. Hm… handsome too! :p. So, I really paid attention to what Dr Lim has to say and he gave me some strong antibiotics and some colourful pills. Now I really feel like I’m 5 years old. Dah laa abah yang bawa aku ge klinik. Sigh! He also advised that my fever was quite high and asked me to come again if there’s no change. I got worried when he told me that I might have to be admitted if the fever is still high. Anyway, this handsome doc had also slapped me with a 65 ringgit fees just for the consultation and medicines but thanks to ING Insurance, I don’t have to worry about it :)

Mak cooked her famous spicy herbal chicken soup with carrots and potatoes for me. I love you maa! Fuhyoo! It knocked the fever and cough right out of me. Memang meletop! I was actually feeling much better after the 2nd checkup. The medicines worked well and on Sunday, I was feeling much better. Thanks to mak punya chicken soup too. Hehe… I was totally energized and was so glad that well... I don’t have to be admitted. I’m just too bored and sick with hospitals nowadays.

Teman Terulung

Thanks Zaini for this song.

Teman Terulung - Anuar Zain

Bila bertaut senyuman
Mata berlirikan
Memancarkan keluhuran
Cerah kesederhanaanmu
Seindah kejujuranmu

Detik seia sejiwa
Terungkap setia
Tiada upaya sepi
Mekar kudup penantianku
Hadirnya teman sejati

Melangkah kita menjejak mimpi
Bahagia berdiri dengan mu disisi
Harapan kita meniti hari
Sentiasa seiring

Paling agung teman terulung
Tenunan emas sayap hidupku
Tak inginku undur bertamu
Bertakhta teguh
Ke akhir waktu

Way Back Into Love

I saw this movie "Music and Lyrics" yesterday on HBO and gosh! I loved this one song "Way back into love". The lyric is so meaningful and romantic. Well, just wanna share it here.

Way Back Into Love
Soundtrack of Music and Lyrics Movie by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

Check out the song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce_DxJFdgM4

Updates

It's been quite a busy month and it's going to remain busy until the end of the month. I have alot of things to update about but just can’t find the time to do so. By the time I finish work at around 6pm, I'm either exhausted or cranky, too lazy or feeling down and unhappy. And at that time, I just wanna go home.

My work… Hm… how shall I put it? Well, it’s not like how it used to be when my lady boss was around. Back then, work is still manageable even though sometimes it can be up till your neck and you can’t even find time to pee. Still, you’re always under control over your work, things get done in an orderly manner and if there’s any issue pertaining work, we can always bring it up with my lady boss. She’s always there to back us up, help us to escalate issues, advice us on what to do and she will always drive us to exceed in whatever we do. Now, we are kinda lost and still trying to figure out things … New takeover, new management, new rules, new procedure, new system, new plan, new DB, higher quota.. Sigh! These are just some of the changes… there’s more yet to come I think. We have internal meeting every week to discuss on issues and sales plan and for all I can see, these new strategic is kinda de-motivate us but no one’s willing to voice out. Well, I just hope things will turn out to be ok and I hope I will be able to withstand these changes. It’s best if you just work with the flow instead of standing there and complaining right. We just have to learn how to work smarter… :p

Despite all these hectic times, there were some good and happy occasions. Kak Idah finally finished her 8 sessions of chemotherapy. Great!! I accompanied her last week for an appointment and checkup with her Oncologist, Dr Kevin Hew and Cardiologist, Dr Goh EL. She had the 64-slice CT scan and the doctor says it shows good positive result. It was a big relief for me when I heard it. But unfortunately, it doesn’t end here as she will have to go through her 25 session of radiotherapy which starts next week. Sigh! But it’s not as worse as the chemo. I hope! Well, we were at the hospital since morning and by the time everything to finish, it was nearly 4pm. Hm… It’s so sad to see all those people walking by with sad and worried look on their face. I can imagine the pain and suffering they have to go through. Nurse Mary from the Oncologist clinic is a very friendly lady. She told us that on that day itself, there are 5 new case of breast cancer. Just imagine…. 5 new cases per day. Sigh! Cancer is becoming a common disease nowadays.
I am praying hard for Kak Idah speed recovery and hoping the best for her. Allah saja yang tahu how much I love her.

Well, gotta go now but there will be more updates coming up. I’ll update you on this good food place kak Ton took me to. I love the ambiance and the food there. The food price is quite reasonable and the place is great to hang out and relax.

More about it in my next update. I'll post some pictures too :p

A women's Poem

To all my gurlfriends out there who are married and living the life as a wife... this poem is for you girls.

He didn't like the curry
And he didn't like my cake
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make
I didn't prepare the coffee right
He didn't like the stew
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue
isn't there anything I could do
To match his mother's shoe
Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight...

Like his mother used to do... ;o)

Nasi Kandar Merlin

I’ve wrote a post before about the yummy, mouth-watering Merlin Nasi Kandar. Don’t get fancy after you hear the name :p It’s not like those huge chains of Nasi Kandar restaurants we have now. It’s just an old pre-war corner house and it’s located at the end junction of Union Street. Here at Merlin, the variety of curries and dishes is limited, but each has its unique exquisite taste. The curries are tasty and you can feel the spiciness in it. Whereas at these huge chains of restaurants, there are too much variety of dishes and it all taste the same… what I would call as a ‘Packed curry powder”. I don’t favour nasi kandars that much but I would say, Merlin Restaurant is one of the best Nasi Kandar Stall in Penang. They do open for lunch too but usually the placed with be packed with office folks and bankers from Maybank, CIMB, Affin nearby.
If you really want to taste the Original Nasi Kandar prepared in the old fashioned way, then you have to try it out.

I went there yesterday for breakfast. Yes! I’m guilty. But who can resist the delicious curries and dishes served hot in the morning. I prefer to go for breakfast, there are less crowd and the curries are freshly prepared.

Sis had Nasi with Ikan bawal goreng, telur bawang and bendi... See, she can't wait until I take the photos. hehehe

I had (ehem..) Nasi with ayam masak ros, telur rebus goreng and bendi.. Really delicious. And I washed it down with a good Teh Ais :p


It's a must try.

Golden Box of Kisses

What a story to inspire your day. Thank you Khalil. I love this story so much!


The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 5-year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight for him and he became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box and placed it under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy... Merry Christmas". The father was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared when he found the box was empty. He spoke to her a harsh manner “Don’t you know young lady, when you give someone a present there’s suppose to be something inside the package”
The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said “Oh Daddy, it’s not empty. I blew kisses into it until it became full”. The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his little girl and he begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.
An accident took the life of that child only a short time later and it is told that the father kept the golden box by his bed for all the years of his life. And whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems, he would open the box and take out and imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it in there.

In a real sense, each of us as human beings have been given a golden box filled with unconditional love and kissed from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could ever hold.

Smile

Roti Canai Telur Mata & Ayam Masak Kicap

Well, here you go. My first update about my favourite food spot. Hehe… Take a visit to this website that has inspired me :p - http://www.malaysiabest.net

I went for breakfast yesterday at eerr… ??? (Gosh! I can’t remember the name) I know, eat where also I forgot already.. :p I'm sure most of us will usually just zoom in without looking at the name. Right? :p Anyway, this Kedai Nasi Kandar is where the old Mydin store used to be and It’s just right opposite the Kapitan Nasi Kandar Restaurant At Jalan Kapitan Keling. It’s one of my favourite breakfast spot. The Food is great and the service is good too. Maybe because we kinda go there often and the workers there actually know us already. Usually Kak Shida and I will go there for breakfast during the weekdays before I send her off to work. Hehe! Always got time. As long as I reach office before 9am :p
The restaurant is newly opened so the place is quite clean. It's spacious too and there's also an area which is closed and air conditioned.

Here’s what I had. You really must try the Ayam Masak Kicap. Very Very delicious. The kuah is thick and tasty.


And I had my Ayam Masak Kicap with Roti Canai with Telur mata
A good food to fill your stomach.

Best Recipes, Food and Favourite Spots

I love food… and I really love talking about FOOD. :D
You can ask my colleges… they know. Infact, It’s everyone favourite topic. Don’t tell me that you have never come across a Penangite who doesn’t love to talk about food. If you haven’t... then go terjun Penang Bridge. That’s your last spot!

Well, I want to post more stuff about food. I came across this interesting site about the best food places in town and it kinda inspired me to write about My Favourite Food Spots *wink*
Well, We have alot of interesting food places here in Penang and I think it will be great to expose them. Besides, I think it's good that we talk more about places we can find good, affordable halal food.

So! Look out for it. Hehehe… tapi janji kena rajin update la. :p

I'll try my best :o)~ Peace

Taare Zameen Par

I have only one word to describe after watching this movie... BEAUTIFUL
This movie is one of the best hindi movie I’ve ever watched. I really love this movie! I actually cried when I watched the ending. It’s truly a magnificent production by Aamir Khan. Well, some people might find it abit dull and slow but for me, this movie is really touching and meaningful. It depends on what you expect to see in a movie actually. If you prefer to watch action, thriller, suspense kinda movie, well then you might find this movie boring cos there’s no fighting or any romantic scenes in this movie :)
It's a story about a boy named Ishaan and how he looks at the world differently. For Ishaan, words in textbooks dances and he really have difficulty getting himself adjusted at school. Unfortunately Ishaan's dreams and thoughts are just too much for people to handle... especially his parents. So, his parents sent him off to boarding school thinking that he need to be 'Disciplined' whereas, Ishaan only needed more guidance and attention. Once in boarding school, nobody noticed his hidden talent except for 1 man… Aamir Khan. Well, you guys should watch the movie to find out what happened to Ishaan next.
The songs are great especially the title Song "Taare Zameen Par" and also "Maa".

Well anyway, Check it out!
Here's the link : http://taarezameenpar.com/

Green Pasture

Look out! Here comes another Friday :) Don’t you just love this wonderful day of the week? Just look at how wonderful your Fridays can be at times. The warm embrace of the morning sun light on your face, the hustle and bustle of the streets… hrgh! And best of all… tomorrow… It’s Saturday :o) Tomorrow, the sun will come up… and it's a whole new day just for yourself.
Sigh! What am I talking about? I think I might have a plan lined up tomorrow. Well, I would consider it as a forced plan cos… I didn't make them. Usually, I will be just 'informed' to get myself involved and this happens quite frequently pulak. Imagine that! I think my mum is up to something and I can tell it by the look she gave me this morning. Mum gave me this sad, gloomy face and asked me “eh.. hang nak buat apa esok…” whereas she clearly knows that I don’t often go out on Saturdays. Hehehe… mak.. mak! my mum…She is great at using these psychological methods to get things done. But most of the time, she just gave me orders jer la. And I have no other choice but to oblige :p
Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I thinking she wants to go to kak Idah’s house tomorrow. Well, I don’t mind la besides I like going to her house too. Like it.

Got something interesting to share… I was chatting on the phone with this guy, Mr xx today. I usually talk to him on work related matters and he will usually liaise with me if there’s any that concerns paperwork. Well, today, our conversation got a little further then usual and I was just trying to be more friendly with him la. I mean, I talking to him most of the time, and today, I just ask him about himself, where he lives, what he do… stuff like that. Hurm… that guy was really exited and I ended up answering all the questions I thought of asking him. He even started to ask questions that I don’t wish to answer. Sigh! Well, I didn’t want to offend Mr xx cos, we still work with him and it’s important that we maintain a good relationship with people we work with… right?
Anyway, cepat betul dia bermesra dengan aku sampai aku naik tak senang hati. Maybe that’s how they’re suppose to me with their customers I think. He asked for my mobile no., want to take me out for lunch konon… want to drop by the office to see me konon… Creepy right! Then he asked if I can go clubbing with him, if I’m free today wanna meet konon… ??? What the… gosh! This guy is pushing too far and I was just being friendlier to him for like about… 10 minutes. I dunno… might not be a big deal for others but I find it abit awkward. So I just cut the conversation short, gave him an excuse and escaped. Then later I realize, what I was thinking?? He’s just trying to be friendly… and that might be his way of approaching people. Tue pun nak takut pulak. I need to start giving myself a break and start looking into other pastures :p
Hurm… hehehe

Well, Gotta go. Have to pick up Kak Sida at work..
Hurm…

I've Learned

I came accross this interesting thoughts today. Just to share it here..

**An Inspirational Thought... Motivational Thought**

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is to be some that can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
*
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
*
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
*
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.
*
I've learned that you can do some thing in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
*
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
*
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
*
I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.
*
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
*
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done regardless of the consequences.
*
I've learned that money is a lousy way to keep score.
*
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
*
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
*
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
*
I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
*
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
*
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
*
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
*
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

Tears In Heaven

Feeling the blues again. Sigh! nothing much to do in the office today. Everyone just doing their own business. Well, I was listening to Yahoo Music and they played this song from Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven. I love this song so much. It's once of my favourite songs. The words are so beautiful and if you listen truthfully, I’m sure you will feel every word in this song. Especially the line "Would you know my name, If I saw you in heaven"... It bring tears to my eyes.


Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

:) I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone that can be loved. The rest is up to them ~ Quote from my collection...

Trust in love and trust yourself...

Chicken Corden BLeu

I’m back to work again after a good long restful 4 days holiday. Though I did not get much sleep during the weekend. I had to wake up early morning la but then again, I really had fun and enjoyed myself with my love ones. It feels great to be back to work actually. I was beginning to feel bored staying at home. And surprisingly I was very energetic la pulak this morning nie. I’m not quite sure why, probably because I had a glass of warm milk in the morning :p

Well, guess what I did during this holiday? On first day of Chinese new Year, We had a cookout and get together at Kak Ton's place. I cooked my favourite and famous Chicken Corden Bleu. Well, Kak Ton wants to eat it again. She said she really didn't get to enjoy the food when I prepared it last time ;) betol ke? Well, now that she has given way Shabby and Flabby (her 2 Persian cats), now her home smells a lot lot lot better. Hehehe…. Tak kalu, hish! Masuk rumah jer bau tahi kucing. But, I kinda miss those 2 cute faces actually.

Preparing the dish is quite tedious. Especially when you have to prepare the side dishes as well. If you prepare the Chicken only, tak la makan masa sangat. Preparing the chicken is not that hard. Just imagine the chicken breast, stuffed with mash potato mixed with almond, laid on top of sliced chicken ham and Mozzarella cheese. Hurm... so, when you cut the chicken open, the cheese will melt out. hehe. So, here’s how my Famous Chicken Corden Bleu looks like. It was served hot with Baby Potato Salad, Fresh steamed veges and Fried fresh mushroom with onions. He’s the receipe, in case you want to try it out.

p/s : Bila nak try nie Zaini? hehe... lama dah bagi recipe :p

CHICKEN CORDEN BLEU (serving for 4 person)
Preparing Chicken... The most simple way.

Ingredients
4 psc chicken breasts (halves)
4 slices on Chicken Ham (Beli yang 5 star nyer... they sell at Giant and cold storage)
1 tub of Mozzarella Cheese
1 big russet potato
1 cup cream
a bit of chopped parsley and daun ketumbar
Garam, gula, dried oregano or any other seasoning
3 tbsp of Olive Oil
1 egg
1 1/2 cup plain flour

- Butterfly the chicken by cutting into the middle of the thick part of the breast and then cutting horizontally until about a quarter inch to a half inch from the end. Fold the flap out. Do the same to the other half of the breast in the other direction. (Stort way of saying it "potong kasi flat sket la.. untuk balut")
- For the mash potato, rebus ubi dulu sampai masak. Lenyek dengan cream & mayonnaise. Add in chopped parsley and daun ketumbar, Garam, gula, dried oregano - Potong cheese dalam tebal 1cm.
- Balut ayam tue dengan chicken ham kat tengah, kat atas tue letak cheese & ubi lenyek. Boleh guna toothpick so the cheese & ubi lenyek tak keluar.
- Tuang sedikit olive oil kat atas ayam dan bakar dalam oven for 30-35 minutes.
- Campurkan tempung dengan telur. Nak tuang air sket pun boleh . Once the chicken is ready, celup ayam tue dalam bahan tepung and fry it until golden colour.

- Stuffed Chicken :)


MUSHROOM GRAVY
1 tin Kimball classic mushroom soup
300gm minced beef
1 Biji Russet Potato
2 tin Pickled mushroom (Hiris nipis2)
1 biji Bawang Siam ( yang putih tue) – Potong dadu
1 biji tomato besar – potong dadu
1 kotak kecil Cream ½ botol Sos Lada Hitam Life
1 Cawan Air
Dried oregano for seasoning
Finely chopped daun ketumar
Garam Gula Secukup rasa

- Rebus ubi sampai betul2 masak. Blend ubi tue dengan cream & 1 cawan air.
- Masak Kimball Mushroom soup dengan bahan yg dah diblend kat atas nie. Tuang air ikut sukatan tin mushroom soup tue. Bila dah memdidih, masukkan minced beef and biar masak. kemudian, masukkan pickled mushroom, bawang and tomato
- Biar dia masak betul2. masukkan sos lada hitam Life. Biar memdidih
- Tabur sedikit oregano for seasoning and garam secukup rasa.
- Lastly, sebelum nak tutup dapur, tabor hirisan daun ketumbar dan parsley.. kacau betul2.

- My Local Chicken Corden Bleu dressed in Mushroom Gravy. Sided with Potato Salad, Steamed fresh Veges and fried fresh Mushroom with Onion.

Try it :)

Just Another Manic Hectic Monday

Something's wrong with my office server since last week. I was unable to make any updates in Blog. There are a few interesting experiences I would like to share. Thought of saving it in here before I forget what it was :p That's me, quite a forgetful person. Well, I hope this gets updated. What I wanted to share last week Wednesday... before we all had the long break.

..... ~
Good morning.. Hah! Tomorrow is the 1st day of Chinese New Year 2008 and the beginning of a LONG holiday for me ;) hehehe. I'm all excited and happy to spend some quality time with my family and relax. We have a few plans lined up for the holidays. Not planning to go on any trip anywhere. Money tadak hai yaar. Let me tell the story once the holidays are over. It's Wednesday today... so, I can most probably update on Monday next week : D

Monday, 4th Feb 2008
It was one of the wackiest days and I spend with my sister, Kak Shida. We got ourselves off from our hectic work and life… made plans to head somewhere, relax and spend some time for ourselves. Mainly to get pleasure from resting and best of all… no work to worry about, no kids running around shouting 'maa maa... maaakkk" (not that they're my kids... but the noise they create can actually cause world war 3), no husbands (except me ya!) I really had a good time. Kak Shida and I were on leave and we made plans to go lepak at Queensbay Mall, do some window shopping and try to catch a movie if there's time. Well, we started our morning with a very delicious, heavy, mouth-watering breakfast at Nasi Kandar Merlin. For your info, Nasi Kandar Merlin is just right at the corner of Union Street, after Maybank. Gosh! I tell you, I recommend that nasi kandar stall to everyone. You really must try it out. Especially if you go there early morning around 8.30am. That’s when the rice and curries are still hot and the dishes are still fresh. There's not much of variety of curries there and all the dishes are really tasty. Especially the fish curry, Ayam masak rempah, ayam goreng crispy and also my favourite.. sambal sotong. I would say, this stall is one of the best Nasi Kandar stall in whole Penang. People from KL and some as far as Singapore will drop by to Merlin for their yummy nasi kandar. Kak Shida told me that her college from KL never misses to stop by at Merlin whenever they're on Penang. After having breakfast at Merlin (you won’t believe this) we actually drove to McD at Green Lane.. hehe. Well, Queensbay only open at 10am right? So, might as well you do something to occupy your time :p Aleh! We actually went there to lepak for a while and have a nive hot cup of coffee and a cool icy chocolate sundae ice cream before we head off to Queensbay. Queensbay - Mad mad Chinese New Year sale. There were discounts up to 80%. I bought a birthday gift for Abah since his birthday is on Valentines Day. OOOoo… And as for me, I got myself a Valentine’s gift too. Hehe ;) Well, dah tak de boyfriend to indulge me, might as well I just indulge myself. Besides, I just wanted to take my mind of what happened to me on Sunday. We stopped by at Nando's for lunch. Kak Shida had a RM40 voucher and we just wanted to use it. I don't prefer Nando's much. Not the kinda tasty food for me. The spiciness is not up to my liking. Well, after all that walking, shopping, eating and chit chatting... we thought of what better way to rest your feet then to head for a movie. Cloverfield… %^$@#&*@ Cloverfield. A very bad decision we made when we decided to watch this movie. Gosh! The movie is completely ridiculous. I will strongly say, this movie is the far worst movie I’ve ever watched. Just imagine, We only managed to stand up watching this movie for 30 minutes and after that we had to run out of the theatre to the nearest toilet... to vomit (there goes my lunch). This is the first time aku tengok wayang boleh pening, sakit kepala dengan muntah... all at the same time... and it's all because of just watching a movie. Sound ridiculous right? But that's the truth. And surprisingly, we were not the only ones. There were actually few other people who walked out of the movie as well. hahaha... I actually saw a girl rubbing her chest probably trying to control herself from vomiting. Well, now I understand what they mean by the term “NO birds eye view” of anything. The whole movie was actually taken using a videocam. So you can imagine how preposterously unstable the movie was, one second you’re looking at his head, the next second you’re actually looking at his legs pulak. This guy who's capturing the movie will run here and there with the camera still on, storming down the stairs with the camera still on… turn here and there. The movie was completely unsteady and it’s not like the usual movie we see and most certainly NOTHING like super hit movie 'Godzilla' or 'Independence day'. If you’ve read the reviewers’ comment about this movie in the CinemaOnline.com you’ll understand what I mean. It’s not suitable to be rated ‘U’ at all la. More suitable to be rated "U will muntah"
Well, the story goes… This is what yang aku sempat tengok la sebelum aku lari kelaur ge muntah kat toilet. There's this guy name 'Hud' and he was capturing his friend’s farewell party when suddenly NYC was attacked by this giant creature. And like any other movie... the monster attacked at night. You will see building collapsing everywhere, huge fireball like someone dropped a bomb. There were even fireballs falling from thr sky like rain. Among all this havoc, tetiba jer, you will see the statue of liberty’s head rolling down the streets where all the heroes and their girlfriends were standing... (Biasa la). Semua kena jadi depan mata hero jer. But then again, this part was consudered abit scary… wey! It was the statue of Liberty. Abis tue.. mula la semua orang lari lari lari.. lari some more.. lari here and there… buildings getting blasted.. Heavy tick smoke covering the streets. Tengah dok lari... suddenly, semua orang dah ada atas bridge… Now I dunno how they got there ok! so pls don't wask me. I'm not quite sure if it was the Manhattan or the Brooklyn Bridge they were on. Just when everyone was on the bridge trying to get their ass out of NYC, tetiba jer dengar macam apa ke benda yang besar kentut… brrrrrooookkkk… Now I assume it was that creature that had created all the havoc in NYC and I suppose menatang tue yang teriak la kot… Hahaha.. tapi bunyi dia memang pelik betol. Hahhh… nie yg aku nak tergelak… lepas terdengar menatang tue teriak je, tetiba ada satu benda hit the bridge and split the bridge into two. Bagi mata aku, nampak macam jejari sotong kurita yang giant nyer. Have you seen the giant octopus in Pirates of the Caribbean? Hehehe... either memang gambar tue or aku dah betol2 pening tak nampak betul-betul. Well what ever it was, I really regret watching it. Wasted RM7 for a ticket and to make the situation worse, the movie actually spoiled the rest of our day. Pening, Muntah dengan tak tahan sungguh sakit kepala. We tried to shake the dizziness off but still cannot help it. Well, we ended up going home at 4.30pm. Sampai rumah jer, aku telan 2 bijik panadol activefast and tido sekejap. Cos memang dah tak boleh tahan pening dengan sakit kepala. What a way to end the day.

Bang Bang

Sunday, 3rd Feb 2008
I met with an accident in front of USM front exit. Sigh! What a day. I had a superb morning you know… I woke up at 9am… had a lovely healthy breakfast of Roti canai telur with the tarik. Hehehe. A healthy breakfast?? Yeah right Fazi! Anyway, rest the day when so fine and at around 3pm, I went to USM to pick my niece from tuition class. At the exit, there was another car in front of me and I saw him crawling out to the main road. So like any other normal road user, I assumed he was going to get the hell out of my sight and I checked if there’s any incoming vehicle. Just as I was about to turn into the main road… BAMMMM!!#@#@@ That bloody damn car was still there, by the side. He was still struggling to turn into the main road. It just happened so fast, I just realized he was still there after I hit him at the back. I smashed my left headlight and my bumper got knocked in. It was quite fast… hey! You’re trying to turn into the main road… what else you would have done! Yeah yeah! I know, it was kind of my fault too. I should have ensured there was no car before I turn. Sigh! And to make the whole situation worse, I tried to remove some of the shattered glasses from the headlight, and guess what! I accidentally cut myself. It was a small cut but the wound was quite deep.
Alhamdullilah, Abah didn't make a big fuss out of this. He was cool when I told him that evening..
Well, now my car is at the workshop. Have to pick it up later after work. And this must happen a few days before CNY.. Sigh! abis la duit aku!

Marriage

A good story to share on Marriage... I got this short story through email today. It really touched me and actually give me a new meaning in maintening the relationship between your spouse.
How would you want your life to be in 10 years after you're married? It's a question we have to ask ourselves often.

Why am I sharing this with you guys... who knows, I just might save a marriage.

MARRIAGE as said by a husband..

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,

I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Bloopers

One month flew by so fast… I could hardly catch my breath. Today is the last day of Jan 2008 and so far, I still haven’t figured out what I want to do for the rest of the year. Surely I have a few agenda that I need to get myself involved in. Let’s just say there are a few major ‘project’ I’m still working on. Still haven’t achieved any satisfying result, but I’m sure keeping my hopes up. I’m praying hard so that I can get through this and look forward for a healthy and happy ending… or shall I say… a beginning ;o)
Well… I must say, there are a few good things that happened. For instance, Kak Idah moved into the new house already and gosh! The place is absolutely amazing. It’s a very wonderful place for her to recuperate and to get her mind off the silly people around her. The place is cool except for a few ‘old fashioned’ renovation work dad put his ideas into. The house in painted yellow and the rooms are purple… hehehe. Serious mamak colour. But then again, I must admit… It does make the house look bright and cheerful when you enter it :) Her next door neighbor is so friendly and caring. The auntie and uncle are such nice people to be around with. Auntie sometimes pops in to say hi and see if things are ok. Abah told them about Kak Idah health condition and that made them be more protective and more concerned over my sis. The view is superb and the whole place is so spacious. Just nice for Kak Idah and the girls.
Now, my house feels empty without Kak Idah and the girls. Balik rumah saje, feel so lonely, alone and boring. Kak Idah has been staying with us for the pass 3 months since Raya. She can sometimes be too protective and over controlling… but now to think of it… It’s just pure love towards me. I love you so much kak.
What else… Sigh! At work, now that my ex-lady boss is no longer around… we report directly to our Director from main office. He comes down to penang once a week to check on us. We are having our 1st kick off meeting this coming Saturday morning… Malas la… I have to drag myself on a Saturday morning just to attend the function but as if I have any choices. Well heck, I’m just going for the buffet lunch cos the lunch there is damn good. I love their Italian buffet lunch we had for my lady boss farewell.
Okie… Gotta go now. Have to pick up Farah and Ijah from school. Kak Idah went for her chemo session today and surely she's worn out. Nanti on the way balik, aku nak singgah beli air tebu pure kat nyonya tepi jalan tue lagi. Sedap btol!
And eerr… about my updated in the post on 8th Jan below… well, let’s just say that things don’t always work out the way you want it to be. That’s life… It’s not perfect cos’ if it is then whatever you wish for would have come true. At least, I got this huge burden I’ve been carrying off my chest after I expressed myself. Like I said, I don’t expect anything in return… just wanted to let know about the feeling in me and understand that I really do care. It’s just the kind of love you have for someone you really care about... a truely close person to your heart. Seriously, it’s not that I expect him to accept me into his life, just want him to know that I… Augh!!!! (Just picture me like in the picture below… screaming my lungs out, pulling my hair :p)

Susah sangat nak explain the whole situation. Like I said, I'm not so good with words. I guess it’s just hard to make people understand what you’re actually trying to say. It’s best if I just leave things the way they are. Though I can feel that there is now a distance between us. I dunno, maybe I'm taking this whole thing too heavily. Moreover, I just can’t seem to shake off the thought that I have actually caused it… Fara, you're damn right girl! I should have followed your advice and kept my damn mouth shut. Hrgh! I just hope things will be just the way it was.

W E L C O M E * 2 0 0 8 *

Aku harapkan tahun nie 2008 membawa perubahan yang baik dalam hidup aku nanti. Segala keinginan yang dinanti-nanti semuanya tercapai.. semuanya dapat dilaksanakan. Yang paling aku hendak usahakan is perubahan terhadap diri aku sendiri. My appreance, the way I bring myself, my way of thinking… aku nak ‘upgrade’! Time for a change… for my own good.

This year 2008 came with a Bang! It started Jan 2nd with my Lady Boss punya last day. Sure sekarang baru nak release how much we appreciate her and how she has changed us to who we are right now. I can proudly say, She the best person I’ve ever worked with. The best manager anyone could have. She has really inspired me in many ways as a leader, a mentor, an advisor, a lady, a sister and a mother. Sure she can be a pain in the neck at times but most of the time, she’s just being who she is. Nothing or no one can challenge her and get away. I keep going through the times I had with her. How she welcomed me 3 years ago into her team. Everyone was quiet the whole day. Wondering and imagining how the team will be like without her. Well, now she’s gone to presue her own path in life. She wants to spend more time with her daughter and family. That’s what she wants… hurm… cuba bayangkan dia sanggup tinggalkan kerja gaji beribu-ribu semata-mata nak menjaga anak dia kat rumah. Yup! She wants to be a housewife. I have no idea how she’s going to go through it daily.. but that’s what she wants. Tak pe la.. husband millionare.. sure can afford to take care of her. Bilik boss just right behind me.. the only thing that separates us is a glass wall… now, everytime I turn around a look… there’s just an empty chair and an empty room with her name still on the glass panel. Pilu jer hati when I think about how she won’t be there for us anymore. Then again, life goes on. Somehow, it will take it’s own course.

Not to forget, aku dikejutkan lagi dengan cerita yang aku ingatkan dah selesai… Mula la aku naik confuse lagi. Fairoz… this guy appeared in my life about 5 months ago. Ada la sorang saudara aku nie introduce him to my family. Asalnya, Fairoz nie dari India. Dia dengan family dia migrate my Penang about 10 years ago. Konon nyer dia lahir kat sini, masa umur dia 4 tahun, his parents bring him to India and he stayed with his grandma kat situ. Fairoz is a very nice guy. Ada jugak kadang2 aku bersembang dengan dia. Tapi entah la kenapa, aku berat hati untuk terima dia dalam hidup aku… Aku sembang pun dengan ingatkan dalam hati that he is just someone I know.. Family dia memang suka kat aku… ada la beberapa misunderstanding at the beginning. They were quite demanding and seriously my family memang tak suka semua tue. Then his parents went off to India lepas raya hari tue. Sebelum dia orang pergi, memang tak bagitau apa2 ataupun sebarang keputusan. Well, since then, Fairoz pun dah tak call aku, aku anggap jer he’s a passing cloud. My family pun setuju and they have dropped the topic of my marriage. Then suddenly, hari rabu yang lalu baru, mak Fairoz telephone tanya khabar and bagitau that dia baru balik from India and nak berbincang dengan my family. Mula la aku rasa tak senang diri… And I have my reasons for being this way.

Today… as a New Year resolution, I’m about to do something I have never done before. Aku berat hati untuk terima Fairoz because I have feelings for someone else. Someone I have known for almost 7 years and tanpa aku sedar, I think I have actually fallen for him. Aku jadi confused bila terpikir, apa sebenarnya perasaan yang aku ada terhadap dia. Sayang sebagai kawan or more then that.

Z… I know you’ll read this. I just sent you and SMS. This is so unlike me… dalam soal Cinta dan perasaan… Fazi diamkan diri jer. But I really want to know what you think of me. And I really hope that you will understand me and berharap Z akan paham perasaan Fazi. Apa gunanya memendam perasaan if tak berani nak meluahkan nya. You know very well how I really respect you and admire you in many ways. You have really inspired me and this could be one of the many reasons why I like you… why I have feelings for you.
Sekiranya apa yang Fazi luahkan disini menganggu Z, I am so so sorry... But I just want you to know how my feelings are for you... I’m sure you must have heard this from a lot of girls… who are much much much more prettier and beautiful then me… I don’t want to tell you I’m different then any of them. But I can sincerely say, my feelings for you are true. This feeling for you is something I’ve been keeping to myself all these years without realizing it. Without wanting to tell you. I actually don’t want to go through life thinking… “If only I’ve told him how I felt for him”…. “Kenapa aku tak bagitau Z” Fazi tak nak diganggu dengan soalan nie seumur hidup Fazi.
Z, you know very well I’m not good with words. But no matter what, Fazi harap persahabatan kita tak kan terjejas. Fazi hargai sangat2 persahabatan Z… It’s just that… I just want you to know..