Bloopers

One month flew by so fast… I could hardly catch my breath. Today is the last day of Jan 2008 and so far, I still haven’t figured out what I want to do for the rest of the year. Surely I have a few agenda that I need to get myself involved in. Let’s just say there are a few major ‘project’ I’m still working on. Still haven’t achieved any satisfying result, but I’m sure keeping my hopes up. I’m praying hard so that I can get through this and look forward for a healthy and happy ending… or shall I say… a beginning ;o)
Well… I must say, there are a few good things that happened. For instance, Kak Idah moved into the new house already and gosh! The place is absolutely amazing. It’s a very wonderful place for her to recuperate and to get her mind off the silly people around her. The place is cool except for a few ‘old fashioned’ renovation work dad put his ideas into. The house in painted yellow and the rooms are purple… hehehe. Serious mamak colour. But then again, I must admit… It does make the house look bright and cheerful when you enter it :) Her next door neighbor is so friendly and caring. The auntie and uncle are such nice people to be around with. Auntie sometimes pops in to say hi and see if things are ok. Abah told them about Kak Idah health condition and that made them be more protective and more concerned over my sis. The view is superb and the whole place is so spacious. Just nice for Kak Idah and the girls.
Now, my house feels empty without Kak Idah and the girls. Balik rumah saje, feel so lonely, alone and boring. Kak Idah has been staying with us for the pass 3 months since Raya. She can sometimes be too protective and over controlling… but now to think of it… It’s just pure love towards me. I love you so much kak.
What else… Sigh! At work, now that my ex-lady boss is no longer around… we report directly to our Director from main office. He comes down to penang once a week to check on us. We are having our 1st kick off meeting this coming Saturday morning… Malas la… I have to drag myself on a Saturday morning just to attend the function but as if I have any choices. Well heck, I’m just going for the buffet lunch cos the lunch there is damn good. I love their Italian buffet lunch we had for my lady boss farewell.
Okie… Gotta go now. Have to pick up Farah and Ijah from school. Kak Idah went for her chemo session today and surely she's worn out. Nanti on the way balik, aku nak singgah beli air tebu pure kat nyonya tepi jalan tue lagi. Sedap btol!
And eerr… about my updated in the post on 8th Jan below… well, let’s just say that things don’t always work out the way you want it to be. That’s life… It’s not perfect cos’ if it is then whatever you wish for would have come true. At least, I got this huge burden I’ve been carrying off my chest after I expressed myself. Like I said, I don’t expect anything in return… just wanted to let know about the feeling in me and understand that I really do care. It’s just the kind of love you have for someone you really care about... a truely close person to your heart. Seriously, it’s not that I expect him to accept me into his life, just want him to know that I… Augh!!!! (Just picture me like in the picture below… screaming my lungs out, pulling my hair :p)

Susah sangat nak explain the whole situation. Like I said, I'm not so good with words. I guess it’s just hard to make people understand what you’re actually trying to say. It’s best if I just leave things the way they are. Though I can feel that there is now a distance between us. I dunno, maybe I'm taking this whole thing too heavily. Moreover, I just can’t seem to shake off the thought that I have actually caused it… Fara, you're damn right girl! I should have followed your advice and kept my damn mouth shut. Hrgh! I just hope things will be just the way it was.